Ultimate Love Day 38: Three Facts About Nigerian Relationships

March 18, 2020

Welcome to the daily Ultimate Love recap. Ultimate Love is the hottest reality show in town, and we’ll be giving you a recap of all the drama, the awwns and the ehyas. Stick around!

Everything that didn’t happen on Ultimate Love Day 38

It’s Ultimate Love Day 38 in Aunty’s Love Pad, and asides the Love Guests talking about nomination, eating free food, existing without knowing about Coronavirus, and learning how to cook Tuwo Shinkafa, nothing else happened. Out of the goodness of my heart, I’ve decided to share with you some facts about Nigerian relationships, just in case you’re a foreigner thinking about dating a naija man.

Nigerian men puts the “un” in unromantic.

Nigerian Relationships Ultimate Love

I really expected to see men go out of their way to woo the women they are interested in, but apparently I was asking for too much. The first week that was supposed to be “toasting stage”, but they did the barest minimum. At least Jay brought a Valentine’s gift for his woman, others can’t be bothered.

It took the intervention of Aunty for these men to serve the women breakfast in bed, which the women really loved, by the way.

Nigerian Relationships Ultimate Love

Whether it’s the first or fifteenth date, Nigerian men sucks at holding conversations:

Nigerian Relationships Ultimate Love

Who goes on a speed date to advertise their fade cream? Who randomly ask a woman he’s just met if she’s okay with her future husband bringing home the kids he acquired from cheating on her? Who tells a woman on a speed date that his wife has to stay at home and take care of their children? You guessed right! A Nigerian man! Na them! Feel free to drag these men on twitter, the next time you see them lie that they are better at holding conversations. Drag them like small gen.

Older Nigerian women and enabling patriarchy are like bread and beans

Nigerian Relationships Ultimate Love

I don’t even know who enables patriarchy more. Nigerian men who benefit from it or older Nigerian women who are looking for people to join them in that suffer head life. They swear everything is workable, no matter how bad it is. Aunty, for example is either telling toxic couples (read women) to keep working on relationships that are dead on arrival, or subtly blaming the women while unlooking the men’s faults and shortcomings.

See ehn, we’re tired of these nonsense relationships. It’s 2020 for Christ sakes.

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