Here’s What Your Favourite Lesbian Movie Says About You

May 10, 2022

You can tell a lot about a queer person based on their favourite movies about women loving women. To save yourself from stress and eventual heartbreak, this should be on the list of first date questions.  Keep reading to find out why. 

D.E.B.S. (2004)

If you’ve seen and liked D.E.B.S, you’re usually the most interesting person in the room, and you know it. You mistakenly watched it as a child, thinking it was a spy movie and it guided you to the early realisation that you like women. You’re confident in a way that isn’t intimidating. Everyone thinks you’re a whore, but you’re actually in a committed relationship. 

RELATED: 7 Nigerians Reveal How They Discovered Their Queerness

Gia

You’re that person in the community that has dated everyone’s ex.  You grew up watching The L-Word and were either obsessed with Shane and grew up to be a serial heartbreaker,  or you liked Jenny and write poetry for fun now. The most problematic thing about you is that you keep falling in love with straight women. 

Rafiki

If you like Rafiki, you have the best taste in music, which has made you the supreme handler of the aux cord during hangouts. You believe in astrology don’t date certain star signs. You claim to hate drama, but you’re constantly at its centre.  You’re willing to swim through the kiddie pool full of urine (the dating pool) as many times as it’ll take to find the one. Never change.

Handmaiden

You’re super intelligent and super intelligent and incredibly patient, which is understandable because you sat through the whole movie and had to read subtitles.  You’re probably in therapy, which is good because you’re clearly going through a lot if you like Handmaiden. You’re adventurous and into kinky shit. You also lie a lot because you keep saying you watched Handmaiden for the plot. when we all know it has no plot and is basically high budget softcore porn.

But I’m a Cheerleader

You are outgoing with a good sense of humour. You make friends effortlessly, and you love a good enemy-to-lovers story. You also love drag race, but you haven’t gotten into it properly.  

Carol

If your favourite lesbian movie is Carol, you only date older women for sport or as a form of self-harm. You still text your ex often and lie about it. You’ve also slept with half of your friends. These people are usually creative and can be a little eccentric, which is why people keep falling for them. You also have a wine addiction.

RELATED: Every Queer Friend Group Has One of These

Portrait of a Lady on Fire

I am not saying you are a red flag if you like this movie, but the colour of your flag is not green. You’re all about the yearning and longing for love. You keep getting heartbroken by people who aren’t dating you. If there were an award for getting into situationships, you’d win it.

Elisa & Marcela

You say you like Elisa and Marcela because you are pretentious, and you like being the only one in the room that wants something “different” even though the only thing different about it is that it’s in black and white. You’ve also never been able to finish this movie because you only watched the sex scenes and avoided the trauma,  and I stan. 

The Happiest Season

The only reason anyone would like this movie is that they had a Twilight phase and are now obsessed with Kristen Stewart. Either that or you just really enjoy celebrating Christmas. You are super cute and want to do adorable things like wearing matching sweaters or making TikToks with your partner.

Prom

You don’t tell anyone you like this movie because everyone hates it, and you don’t like petty arguments. You watched this specifically for Meryl Streep because you want to date older women, but you’d never actively pursue one. You are also very romantic, and you still believe in fairytale types of love, which is precious. 

Below Her Mouth

You are a baby gay. You don’t do relationships and just like to vibe, which is interesting because you also catch feelings quick. Below Her Mouth was probably your first lesbian film, and even though you’ve seen better, you’re still holding on to it. You thrive in toxic situations, and you like Blue is the Warmest Colour.

ALSO READ: Nigerians, Here’s What Your Favourite Adult Cartoon Says About You

Zikoko is launching a new series where we explore those friendships, familial and romantic relationships that are no longer sailing.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

November 13, 2019

Peruzzi — “Mauriello” While Peruzzi’s debut EP, Heartwork, was unfairly slept on, the project’s standout song, “Majesty” was simply too good to ignore. On his debut album, Huncho Vibez, “Mauriello” is that song. Just like “Majesty”, the Clemzy-produced “Mauriello” soars thanks to Peruzzi’s skills as a songwriter, which he really doesn’t get enough credit for. […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

May 21, 2022

The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 27-year-old man who masturbated for the first time when he was 22. He talks about the transition from saving himself for marriage to just enjoying sex, and why he never considered masturbation till he started having sex.

Recommended Quizzes

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

November 27, 2019

Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out: 11 Quizzes For People Who Aren’t […]

More from Pop

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X