Here’s What Your Favourite Lesbian Movie Says About You

May 10, 2022

You can tell a lot about a queer person based on their favourite movies about women loving women. To save yourself from stress and eventual heartbreak, this should be on the list of first date questions.  Keep reading to find out why. 

D.E.B.S. (2004)

If you’ve seen and liked D.E.B.S, you’re usually the most interesting person in the room, and you know it. You mistakenly watched it as a child, thinking it was a spy movie and it guided you to the early realisation that you like women. You’re confident in a way that isn’t intimidating. Everyone thinks you’re a whore, but you’re actually in a committed relationship. 

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You’re that person in the community that has dated everyone’s ex.  You grew up watching The L-Word and were either obsessed with Shane and grew up to be a serial heartbreaker,  or you liked Jenny and write poetry for fun now. The most problematic thing about you is that you keep falling in love with straight women. 


If you like Rafiki, you have the best taste in music, which has made you the supreme handler of the aux cord during hangouts. You believe in astrology don’t date certain star signs. You claim to hate drama, but you’re constantly at its centre.  You’re willing to swim through the kiddie pool full of urine (the dating pool) as many times as it’ll take to find the one. Never change.


You’re super intelligent and super intelligent and incredibly patient, which is understandable because you sat through the whole movie and had to read subtitles.  You’re probably in therapy, which is good because you’re clearly going through a lot if you like Handmaiden. You’re adventurous and into kinky shit. You also lie a lot because you keep saying you watched Handmaiden for the plot. when we all know it has no plot and is basically high budget softcore porn.

But I’m a Cheerleader

You are outgoing with a good sense of humour. You make friends effortlessly, and you love a good enemy-to-lovers story. You also love drag race, but you haven’t gotten into it properly.  


If your favourite lesbian movie is Carol, you only date older women for sport or as a form of self-harm. You still text your ex often and lie about it. You’ve also slept with half of your friends. These people are usually creative and can be a little eccentric, which is why people keep falling for them. You also have a wine addiction.

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Portrait of a Lady on Fire

I am not saying you are a red flag if you like this movie, but the colour of your flag is not green. You’re all about the yearning and longing for love. You keep getting heartbroken by people who aren’t dating you. If there were an award for getting into situationships, you’d win it.

Elisa & Marcela

You say you like Elisa and Marcela because you are pretentious, and you like being the only one in the room that wants something “different” even though the only thing different about it is that it’s in black and white. You’ve also never been able to finish this movie because you only watched the sex scenes and avoided the trauma,  and I stan. 

The Happiest Season

The only reason anyone would like this movie is that they had a Twilight phase and are now obsessed with Kristen Stewart. Either that or you just really enjoy celebrating Christmas. You are super cute and want to do adorable things like wearing matching sweaters or making TikToks with your partner.


You don’t tell anyone you like this movie because everyone hates it, and you don’t like petty arguments. You watched this specifically for Meryl Streep because you want to date older women, but you’d never actively pursue one. You are also very romantic, and you still believe in fairytale types of love, which is precious. 

Below Her Mouth

You are a baby gay. You don’t do relationships and just like to vibe, which is interesting because you also catch feelings quick. Below Her Mouth was probably your first lesbian film, and even though you’ve seen better, you’re still holding on to it. You thrive in toxic situations, and you like Blue is the Warmest Colour.

ALSO READ: Nigerians, Here’s What Your Favourite Adult Cartoon Says About You

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