Every Queer Friend Group Has One of These

February 8, 2022

Wherever one or two queer friends are gathered, you’d find at least four of these people in their midst. It’s almost like they can’t survive without each other, and it’s cute to see. Every queer friend group/chosen family has one of these people.  

1. The athletic cat mom lesbian

They behave like those house masters in secondary school that make you do exercises by 4 am. But they’re also so sweet and are usually the moms of the group. When they aren’t busy helping you fix shit, they’re taking pictures of their cats. 

2. The asexual bookworm friend with the worst sex jokes

These ones have the nastiest sex jokes you’ll ever hear. They flirt so much, you either catch feelings or want to deck them. They should do a master class sha — asking for a friend. They also give the best book recommendations because they’d read anything.

3. The super chill bisexual that loves plants 

This person doesn’t send anybody. They just wear their bralette and jeans and smoke or take care of their plants when they’re stressed — nevermind that most of these plants die. They  don’t chase, they attract, and we can only perspire to aspire…

4. The soft enby 

All they do is send TikToks and memes to their friends every day, take one picture a month and use it as their profile picture everywhere and be broke. They are the most unproblematic friends.

5. The Shane wannabe that is a musician 

This person watched “The L word” once and stole Shane’s entire personality. Get in a stable relationship? Why would they do that? What will they sing about? If they are not busy breaking someone’s heart, they won’t be happy. If you date this person, then you enjoy crying and you might as well date an onion (an onion that is good at hot fok sha). They’re just lucky that they’re unusually the kindest people you’ll ever meet. 

6. The cute couple 

You’re either jealous or sick of their shit, and even then, you secretly love to see them loved up. They behave like an old married couple, and if they didn’t live in Nigeria with strict parents, they’d have already moved in together. 

7. The visibly queer friend

If you don’t know who this is in your friend group, it’s you. There is no one way to look queer, but these guys come close to having “the look.” They usually have the best style, they’re usually the artsiest people in the friend group and they can’t sit “straight”. If they could, they’d wear the pride flag as clothes.

8. The child 

The youngest in the friend group who is everyone’s baby. Everyone always checks up on them and instantly becomes a Nigerian parent — gentle parent edition — whenever they’re around

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