7 Gifts Nigerian Men DO NOT Want This Valentine

February 3, 2021

Valentine is coming again and, as usual, Nigerian women a particular set of people are getting ready to furnish their men with the usual gifts we see every year. I’ve decided to save you the trouble and make a list of things Nigerian men don’t want to receive this year. If you really want to be a useful member of your relationship, you can find a list of things to buy your man for valentine’s here.

1. Sex

For the 5482nd time, sex is NOT a gift. Nobody ever thinks “You know what I’d really want for Valentine’s Day? Sex.” Nobody. Ever. Is it not the same sex that you’re having every other day?

2. Singlet and boxers

Did he tell you he doesn’t have underwear? Did he tell you he is suffering?

3. Handkerchief

Unless your man is a professional traditional dancer, I don’t see why you should be buying him handkerchief.

pancocojams: Nigerian Culture: Igbo Women Dancing With White Handkerchiefs

4. Pen

We know they said that the pen is mightier than the sword but it doesn’t mean it makes a great gift. Put in more effort abeg.

5. BYC T-shirt/Chase Deer

Resist the urge to be unfortunate, please.

6. “3000 Reasons Why I Love You”

Okay but na love we go chop? Who are you giving homework to go and be reading?

7. Face on Pillow/Mug

If he wants to know what he looks like, he has mirror at home.

Zikoko Donation Banner

Help Zikoko keep making the content you love

More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.

Thank you for your support.

We are also cool with Crypto.

Donation Close
Zikoko Logo

Complete Your Commitment

Donation confirm

Your Contribution is confirmed! Amount

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

November 5, 2020

We’ve all been there, at some point. (Yes, I’m judging you.) Sometimes, we get carried away with enjoyment that we forget there are neighbours around the house that can hear you crying unto Jesus, the author and finisher of your faith. They might be even more confused when they start hearing “Daddy, please.” I digress. […]

January 25, 2021

It is common knowledge — at least common Twitter knowledge — that the skincare routine of most Nigerian men begins and ends with a bar of soap and vaseline. For many of the men we spoke with, they don’t see why they should care that much about their skin but others are actively taking time out […]

September 1, 2020

Girlfriends are cute and all, but they’re annoying and they get away with a lot of shit. If you need to spice up your relationship, occasionally do one (or a few) of these things and then watch what happens. P.S. Don’t blame us if she breaks up with you. We are not responsible. 1. Reply […]

October 6, 2020

Sometimes, you meet a guy. Maybe a friend of a friend. You’re introduced to each other by name. You do the handshake and snap, but immediately you snapped fingers, you forgot his name. Fast forward to two weeks later. You’re walking down the street and you see this person. For the life of you, you […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

November 11, 2019

Everyone has something to say about what kind of person they are. But how well do we truthfully evaluate these things? Not that much, I can assure you. The average person is always lying to themselves to make sure they look good. But you know what and who doesn’t lie? Zikoko quizzes that’s what. Take […]

November 20, 2019

Last month, we thoughtfully made a quiz telling you guys exactly when you’ll marry, but some of you claimed that your spouse was nowhere to be found. Well, now we’ve created one that’ll tell you exactly who you’ll be dragging down that aisle. Take and start planning that wedding: 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are […]

October 30, 2019

2010 was a game-changing one for Nollywood, with our movies making serious cash and getting international acclaim. So, which of these hits released between 2010 and 2019 — from the pace-setting The Wedding Party to the divisive Trip To Jamaica — best suits your personality? Well, that’s what this quiz is here to answer:

December 3, 2019

Are you a professional Yoruba demon? Are you walking around in search of whose life you can wreck at any given time? Well, this quiz knows exactly how many hearts you’ve shattered to date, and before you lie that your result is inaccurate, just remember that Zikoko is never wrong. Now, take it and be […]

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already. QUIZ: Why Do You Have […]

More from Man Dem

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X