5 Reasons No Nut November Certainly Won’t Last

November 3, 2020

It’s November again and everyone is going around shouting “NO NUT NOVEMBER.” If you think No Nut November means you don’t get to eat peanuts, groundnuts and walnuts in some sort of weird health awareness thing, you’d be dead wrong. No Nut November is an annual event where men are encouraged not to ejaculate throughout the month. That means no sex, no masturbation, nothing.

Who in their right minds would do that, right? Well, A lot of people have been buzzing about No Nut November and bragging about how long they’d last. Sorry to pop your bubble, but I’m here to give you seven reasons why you’re not going to last through No Nut November.

1. Twitter is a porn hotbed

It’s a warm afternoon in two days into your No Nut November and you’re just trying to relax and scroll through Twitter for entertainment. Next, thing there’s breast popping out of your screen and in your face. O wrong nau.

2. Nigeria is stressful

It’s 4 days into No Nut November and you’re getting used to it. But you’ve entered traffic sent from hellfire after a bad day at work and you get home and find there’s no light. And you can’t even nut to relieve the stress.

3. Your crush sends fiery jpegs

It’s a cool November evening and you’re eight days in. Having a casual chat with your crush and they send jpegs that send blood rushing to your second head. You’re praying to God to grant you the forititude but it’s like God isn’t listening to you right now. Problem.

4. Your partner comes over

It’s Day 10 and things are looking really iffy. You’re randomly breaking out in sweats and having heat flush. Your spirit is willing  but your body is refusing. You’re at war within yourself. Next thing, your partner is saying they want to come over. Ha.

5. You drink wine

It’s day 12 and things are looking ruff. You’re on edge and everything is stressing you. You open a bottle of wine to let out some steam. After the third sip, you suddenly remember how wine goes straight to your big head and your small head, but it is very late. This is the point where you let go and let God. You have tried. Enough is enough. You will continue No Nut November in 2021, by God’s grace.

Read: 16 Hilarious Slangs For Masturbation

Zikoko Donation Banner

Help Zikoko keep making the content you love

More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.

Thank you for your support.

We are also cool with Crypto.

Donation Close
Zikoko Logo

Complete Your Commitment

Donation confirm

Your Contribution is confirmed! Amount


Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 15, 2019

There are two types of people in Nigeria right now: those who are proud Marlians, and those who are still in denial about stanning the divisive star. So, for those who proudly wear the Marlian tag, we made a quiz to test how well you really know Naira Marley. If you get more than 6 […]

June 14, 2020

Have you ever been with someone so horrible that you swore to never date again? Yes? Well, do you know that one or more of your exes probably feels the same way about you? You never thought about that, huh? Thankfully, this quiz is here to let you know just how much of a hassle […]

November 12, 2019

Are you a single pringle, stuck in a complicated situationship or happily married to the love of your life? This quiz is here to guess your current relationship status, and as you know, Zikoko quizzes are incredibly accurate (don’t quote us). So, give a shot:

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

More from Man Dem

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X