• November just started, and you know what that means – the annual challenge to keep it zipped, literally. No Nut November, the internet’s favourite abstinence movement, is back.

    To help you power through those tempting moments, we’ve curated the ultimate playlist. These 10 Afrobeats bops, carefully selected to keep your mind focused and your resolve strong, will be your auditory guardian angels.

    If You Ask Me — Omawumi

    This is a soulful, conscious song about child sexual abuse, but it works for No Nut November. This one goes out to everyone who uses what’s between their legs to hurt others and their community. Do us a favour; keep your thing to yourself.

    Gobe — Davido

    You see, Davido doesn’t fool himself. He sings that there’s a strong sexual tension in the air, but he’s ready to wait. He’s a patient man. Davido sings, “Good come those who wait.” If your babe says till December, my dear, you’ll have to make patience a virtue.

    No Kissing Baby – Patoranking feat. Sarkodie

    Patoranking isn’t here for only sexual relations; he’s all about giving and receiving the fullness of love. He sings: “If you no give, I no get take o.” Then, in the hook, “No kissing, baby, no touching, baby.” This is a man who will carry out a successful NNN. Be like him.

    Natural Something — Sound Sultan

    Do you know that spending lavishly on someone you like sincerely can be more pleasurable than a coitus meet-and-greet? No one needs a nut when there’s money to spend their time spending.

    No Touching — Guchi

    “Shey if I say no touching, shey you love me like that?”, Guchi asks in this song. There’s no better song to build boundaries and erect restrictions of urges this November than No Touching.

    Ladi — Phyno & Olamide feat. Lil Kesh

    These grown men sing about their dislike for eating it. They don’t care about their partner’s nuts. Anyone who moves like this doesn’t deserve to get some, either. Ojoro cancel ojoro. 

    Wait for Me — Johnny Drille

    Johnny Drille goes away for a bit, and he asks his lover to wait for him. He earnestly asks for her dedication to their love while he’s away. If you find someone that does the same for you, hold them tight.

    Goodbye — Ayra Starr feat. Asake

    Hugging a pillow is better than accepting disrespect in the name of having a partner or getting nuts. This is what Arya is telling us in this song. Listen.

    Space — Tay Iwar feat. Cruel Santino and Preyé

    This may sound like a heartbreak song to some of you, but see it this way: If your babe says No Nut November isn’t for them, but you’re observing it, tell them to give you space for a moment. If they’re for you, they’ll wait for you.

    by now — CKay

    This song is a cry of a man who’s been patient because he got the promise of sex. Are you like Ckay in this song? Or are you just like the one making him do this shalaye? Here’s your anthem.

    Listen here:

  • There’s a high chance you’ve heard about the #NoNutNovember challenge. The rules for the challenge are simple: step into November, and do your best not to cum for 30 days. 

    While I initially thought the #NoNutNovember challenge was just social media bants. I recently realised some people, mostly men, take it seriously. But why? And most importantly, does anyone really make it to the finish line? 

    I spoke to eight Nigerian men, and this is what they had to say about the #NoNutNovember challenge. 

    Getting myself off is the only thing that can lift my mood free of charge.”

    Tejiro, 30 

    Nigeria is already hard, and someone out there expects me to do the #NoNutNovember challenge? God forbid. The way prices are rising daily, doing fun things is becoming a luxury for me. I can’t say I want to go bowling or drinking anymore because it’ll shake my pocket. Even food, a bloody necessity, is expensive AF right now. Getting myself off is literally the only thing that can lift my mood without me having to answer, “Savings or current?” I’m not giving it up for some childish challenge. 

    “As a happily married man, #NoNutNovember is not for me.

    James, 28

    Are people really doing #NoNutNovember? As a happily married man, that can never be me. Even if I wanted to, I’d have to bring my wife on board because my thing is for both of us. Sex is a huge part of our relationship, and we didn’t get married in our 20s to not be having it up and down. Maybe the challenge is for single people, not people like me. 

    “It’s been very challenging, but I’ve stuck to it.

    Olawale, 33 

    I told myself I’d try the #NoNutNovember challenge in 2022, and I’ve stuck to it. I won’t say I was addicted to masturbating, but it became a daily shower ritual after I turned 17.

    Doing this challenge has been, no pun intended, very challenging. I’m not going to lie, it’s helped me focus more in the gym and at work. Plus, I save a lot of time in the mornings. I used to spend almost an hour on masturbation because picking the right video or picture was always a tough choice. I find one and keep thinking, “What if the next page or site has a better video?”

    “This is my fifth year trying and failing to complete the #NoNutNovember challenge.”

    Uzoma, 25

    I don’t know how people pull off #NoNutNovember because this is my fifth year trying and failing to see it through till the end. The longest I’ve lasted was 12 days back in 2019. 

    The challenge started as a bet between my friends and me to see how long we could go. None of us has made it through the whole month, but it’s something that bonds us together, even though monitoring another man’s masturbation or sex schedule sounds really weird. 

    RECOMMENDED: 10 Trusted Ways to Make Your Lover Call You “Daddy”

    “I’ve been doing this for two years; one month doesn’t make a difference.” 

    David, 38

    I’ve chosen to be celibate for 29 months now, and staying off masturbation is part of my plan.

    I was in a committed relationship until 2020 when my girlfriend caught me cheating. I realised my obsession with sex ruined our relationship, so I decided not to have sex again until I was in another committed relationship. This #NoNutNovember is a regular month for me. Imagine guys crying about one month when I’ve been on this journey since June 2020. 

    “I have zero motivation to subject myself to sexual torture.” 

    Ayobami, 20

    I can’t do #NoNutNovember, so I don’t even try. I love sex, and it’s all around me, from the people I’m dating to my Twitter timeline, which always has porn one way or the other.
    More power to all the men doing it, but unless I missed the memo on the prize money involved, I have zero motivation to subject myself to sexual torture for bants. 

    “This challenge has saved me the stress of going through drama just to have sex.” 

    Onome, 29 

    I decided to try the #NoNutNovember challenge unprovoked for the first time this year, and I’m crushing it. I’d always seen people talk about it on social media, but I didn’t really think anyone was doing it. Out of boredom, and because I’m a single pringle now, I decided to try it out this month, and it’s not been so bad.

    Yes, I miss sex a lot, but the whole drama of talking to someone and planning the sex has been a massive burden off my shoulders. I don’t know if I’d be this successful if I was still with my girlfriend sha. I’d have failed from day one. 

    “#NoNutNovember, to what end?” 

    Hassan, 30 

    #NoNutNovember? Please and please, life is too short for me to play rough games like that. I’m sure I could pull it off if I really wanted to, but to what end? I can be disciplined when it comes to sex without starving myself of it completely. Good luck to all the guys doing it, but I’m way too hot to deprive the world of my sexual gifts. No, thank you. 

    ALSO READ: 5 Nigerian Men Talk About Discovering Masturbation

  • It’s November again and everyone is going around shouting “NO NUT NOVEMBER.” If you think No Nut November means you don’t get to eat peanuts, groundnuts and walnuts in some sort of weird health awareness thing, you’d be dead wrong. No Nut November is an annual event where men are encouraged not to ejaculate throughout the month. That means no sex, no masturbation, nothing.

    Who in their right minds would do that, right? Well, A lot of people have been buzzing about No Nut November and bragging about how long they’d last. Sorry to pop your bubble, but I’m here to give you seven reasons why you’re not going to last through No Nut November.

    1. Twitter is a porn hotbed

    It’s a warm afternoon in two days into your No Nut November and you’re just trying to relax and scroll through Twitter for entertainment. Next, thing there’s breast popping out of your screen and in your face. O wrong nau.

    2. Nigeria is stressful

    It’s 4 days into No Nut November and you’re getting used to it. But you’ve entered traffic sent from hellfire after a bad day at work and you get home and find there’s no light. And you can’t even nut to relieve the stress.

    3. Your crush sends fiery jpegs

    It’s a cool November evening and you’re eight days in. Having a casual chat with your crush and they send jpegs that send blood rushing to your second head. You’re praying to God to grant you the forititude but it’s like God isn’t listening to you right now. Problem.

    4. Your partner comes over

    It’s Day 10 and things are looking really iffy. You’re randomly breaking out in sweats and having heat flush. Your spirit is willing  but your body is refusing. You’re at war within yourself. Next thing, your partner is saying they want to come over. Ha.

    5. You drink wine

    It’s day 12 and things are looking ruff. You’re on edge and everything is stressing you. You open a bottle of wine to let out some steam. After the third sip, you suddenly remember how wine goes straight to your big head and your small head, but it is very late. This is the point where you let go and let God. You have tried. Enough is enough. You will continue No Nut November in 2021, by God’s grace.

    Read: 16 Hilarious Slangs For Masturbation

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  • For those who don’t know, No Nut November is an annual ritual where men are encouraged to go all 30 days of the month without ejaculating at all. Some people are deciding to observe it this year while others have decided not to. Their reason is that the year has been difficult as hell and they deserve to beat their meats as furiously as they want.

    You know what? I totally get it.

    Anyway, I’m here today, to talk to the people who are still on the fence about it, with 6 things you’ll gain if you observe the ritual this year.

    1) Use the time you would usually spend beating your meat to do other stuff.

    Start working out. Read a book. Summon a demon. Try doing something productive.

    2) Give your hand a fucking break.

    Does it feel good walking around with different sized-arms?

    3) Give your meat a fucking break.

    it is exhausated. Damn!

    4) Give your spiritual husband/wife a chance to have all your nut to themselves.

    They might’ve never mentioned it but it kills your spiritual spouse that they have to share you with the world. Not engaging in real-life sexual activities of any kind means your spiritual spouse can have you (and all your nut) to themselves in the sex dreams you’re bound to have.

    5) Get access to all the special abilities you possess but are kept latent by sexual activity.

    Open your 3rd eye and go all LUCY on everyone.

    6) Finally, imagine how good that first nut in December is going to feel.

    Wahala for whoever happens to be in the way of your dick when it happens.

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