We know how anxious people get when they’re down to their last ₦1k. You won’t be like them when you’re done reading this article because we’ve come up with a list of important things you can do with your last ₦1k.
1. Plastic surgery
Preferably a BBL so they’ll be a jiggle when you walk. You can also get a facial reconstruction surgery so no one will recognize you when you rob a bank to pay the surgeon.
2. A plane ticket
Maybe you should call Aladdin to borrow his carpet sha. Or better still, use some of the 1k to buy anointing oil to pour on your passport. All that matters is getting out of the country to enjoy your life in an exotic faraway land. Infact, you can also buy a plane.
3. Hotel reservation
Of course, you need somewhere to stay when you leave the country. Use the remaining change to pay for hotel reservations. Ensure you book the best hotel in the city you land in. Request for a bar and room service too.
Dip your ₦1k into the dip. Sprinkle some yeast on the ₦1k before investing it into crypto because you need the money to rise to the moon. We’re all gonna make it anyway and you’re going to be one of us.
5. A time machine
Trust me, you’ll surely find a ₦1k time machine in the black market. Someone’s grandpa definitely knows a guy who knows a guy. We didn’t say you should buy someone’s babalawo and turn him into a time machine, no. Buy an actual time machine that’ll help you make your ₦1k last as long as you need it to.
6. A plot of land in Abuja
You can either buy a plot of land or some already existing property. Just make sure it’s close to Aso Rock. See it as an investment into your future and the ones that are going to come after you. Use the time machine you bought to go back in time so you can know the property most likely to yield the highest value in future.
Specifically double sausage shawarma, with chicken and some cheese sef. Enjoy the life of your head because you only live once and you can’t come and die because you had only ₦1k in your account.
Paying for delivery is a good thing to do for yourself and your mental health. Atleast, you’ll have something other than your brokeness to look forward to.
Wisdom no go kill us.