1. When people start talking about how love is the greatest thing ever.
Spare me, please.
2. When you see lovers holding hands in public.
3. When you open Twitter and you see someone in your dms.
I’m not on seat!
4. When someone you’ve dated for only 5 years calls you ‘baby’.
Who is your baby?
5. You, when someone says they have a crush on you.
I feel nothing.
6. When you see your friends with their bobos.
Forget love, fall for money!
7. When your ex calls and says they miss you a day after the break up.
We never dated. I don’t know you.
8. When you finally say yes to your 8-year toaster, he’s like:
“She said yes!!!”
9. You, when someone tells you ‘I love you’.
I love youtube.
10. You, when you see lovers write love story on Instagram.
You disgust me!
11. When your friends are heart broken and come to you for consolation.
Jesus will help you ma.