6 Types Of People You See At Every Gym

April 20, 2017

1. The Newbies

They’re easy to spot because they obviously have no idea what they’re doing. If it’s a guy, he’ll probably be too proud to ask for help until a dumbbell crushes his big toe. This won’t happen to a newbie girl sha because chances are she’s already getting all the help she needs from the guys there.

2. The New Year Resolutioners

You usually see them around the beginning of the year. They’re the ones that make new year’s resolutions to eat healthy and exercise more so for the first few days of the year they try their best to keep this promise they’ve made to themselves. Eventually the flesh gets weak and will power dies so they vanish before the middle of January. Never to be seen again until the same time next year.

3. The Slay Queens

They’re always dressed in needlessly stylish gym clothes and are ALWAYS in full makeup. They never stress themselves too much so  their makeup won’t get ruined by sweat. You’ll find them in front of the gym mirrors, taking selfies and making Snapchat videos. This is pretty much the only reason they’re at the gym. So they can take pictures and upload to Instagram later with the caption #FITFAM.

4. The Gym Junkies

These ones know damn well what they’re doing because they’ve been doing it for years. You can’t miss them. They’re built like tree trunks. They can poke out your eye with their chest. The damage they would inflict on you, if you got in a fight with one of them, would be so great it would affect your unborn children. If you’re a newbie looking for fitness advice, don’t go to these guys. They’ve forgotten what it’s like to be new so they’ll most likely give you advice that if you follow, will end with you getting injured.

5. The Oversabis

These ones are just there to give unsolicited advice to everybody. They’re the ones that will see someone trying to lose weight and start telling them nonsense like, “You have to do 5000 power skips on one leg” OR “If you really want to lose weight you have to skip breakfast AND dinner” which of course is terrible advice. Also, under the pretext of “telling it like it is”, they can be very rude. They usually prey on the newbies.

6. The Observers

I only added this category so I could acknowledge myself. I played this role so I could write this article. You’re welcome.

If you plan on joining #FitFam, you should read this next article so you don’t embarrass yourself when you finally join a gym.

That Time I Disgraced Myself At The Gym
Astor George

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

February 27, 2021

The subject of this week’s Sex Life is a 39-year-old heterosexual man who was celibate for almost a decade before he got married. He talks about his wild sexual past and how he thinks that might be stopping him from fully enjoying married sex.

February 26, 2021

There’s only one African Giant and you know him. After his recent feature on the Pepsi Global Ad, we’ve decided to reflect on five times he proved to the world that he was the African Giant. 1. Winning the BET Best International Act… Twice As if winning the 2019 Best International Act at the BET […]

Recommended Quizzes

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Timed Quizzes For […]

November 1, 2019

Twitter is buzzing right now, bringing a new conversation to the concept of cool vs not-so-cool, especially in relationships. If you’ve been thinking about how much of a red flag you are, why don’t you let this quiz help you decide once and for all?

November 11, 2019

Everyone has something to say about what kind of person they are. But how well do we truthfully evaluate these things? Not that much, I can assure you. The average person is always lying to themselves to make sure they look good. But you know what and who doesn’t lie? Zikoko quizzes that’s what. Take […]

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

More from Oldies

February 12, 2020

Forget Tunji and Daniella, if you’re wondering who your best friend is, it’s most definitely the phone you’re either reading this from or the phone that’s somewhere within your vision; we know this because you’re definitely a phone addict that gets a little impatient when you’re too far away from your phone. Okay, let’s not […]

February 8, 2020

Yes, Valentine’s Day is almost here. Love notes, chocolates, hampers, and everything that comes with it. But while everyone is being hit by cupid’s arrow, there are some people who don’t even feel the hype. If you’re one of them, then grab a seat at this table. 1. You, when you hear that Valentine is […]

February 8, 2020

In case you have not realised it, Nigerians have a PhD in lying. Multiple PhDs, even. And there are some people who are professors in the art of lying, but we will keep that conversation for another day. Anyway, here is a list of common lies Nigerians tell. Don’t lie, we know you must told […]

February 8, 2020

Anyone who grew up in a Nigerian household understands that the Saturday routine does not change. It is the same yesterday, today and forever. If you are a true Nigerian, then you’ll understand these pictures and their connection to Saturday mornings. 1. Morning devotion by 6:00 AM. In which your parents can slap you for […]

February 8, 2020

Growing up, Saturdays used to be fun thanks to Cadbury Nigeria and Silverbird television. However, these days, as an adult, Saturdays are filled with unfinished work from the week before. If you are lucky, maybe a nice outing or mild to moderate fornication. Still, all these don’t fill the void the way cartoons used to […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X