6 Types Of People You See At Every Gym

April 20, 2017

1. The Newbies

They’re easy to spot because they obviously have no idea what they’re doing. If it’s a guy, he’ll probably be too proud to ask for help until a dumbbell crushes his big toe. This won’t happen to a newbie girl sha because chances are she’s already getting all the help she needs from the guys there.

2. The New Year Resolutioners

You usually see them around the beginning of the year. They’re the ones that make new year’s resolutions to eat healthy and exercise more so for the first few days of the year they try their best to keep this promise they’ve made to themselves. Eventually the flesh gets weak and will power dies so they vanish before the middle of January. Never to be seen again until the same time next year.

3. The Slay Queens

They’re always dressed in needlessly stylish gym clothes and are ALWAYS in full makeup. They never stress themselves too much so  their makeup won’t get ruined by sweat. You’ll find them in front of the gym mirrors, taking selfies and making Snapchat videos. This is pretty much the only reason they’re at the gym. So they can take pictures and upload to Instagram later with the caption #FITFAM.

4. The Gym Junkies

These ones know damn well what they’re doing because they’ve been doing it for years. You can’t miss them. They’re built like tree trunks. They can poke out your eye with their chest. The damage they would inflict on you, if you got in a fight with one of them, would be so great it would affect your unborn children. If you’re a newbie looking for fitness advice, don’t go to these guys. They’ve forgotten what it’s like to be new so they’ll most likely give you advice that if you follow, will end with you getting injured.

5. The Oversabis

These ones are just there to give unsolicited advice to everybody. They’re the ones that will see someone trying to lose weight and start telling them nonsense like, “You have to do 5000 power skips on one leg” OR “If you really want to lose weight you have to skip breakfast AND dinner” which of course is terrible advice. Also, under the pretext of “telling it like it is”, they can be very rude. They usually prey on the newbies.

6. The Observers

I only added this category so I could acknowledge myself. I played this role so I could write this article. You’re welcome.

If you plan on joining #FitFam, you should read this next article so you don’t embarrass yourself when you finally join a gym.

That Time I Disgraced Myself At The Gym

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

January 31, 2023

Have you ever watched a Nollywood film or show and thought: “Why is this character so familiar?” You’re not alone.  From men who can’t handle the consequences of their blood money rituals to marine spirits who trap and steal men’s destinies after sex, these Nollywood characters are practically the same, but in different fonts. Fun […]

Recommended Quizzes

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

how tall are you
March 11, 2020

Did your parents give you enough beans when you were growing up? If they did, then you’re probably around 6’0″ and above. Either way, we created a quiz that can guess your current height (pretty accurately, if we do say so ourselves). Take to see if we nailed it:

November 20, 2019

Last month, we thoughtfully made a quiz telling you guys exactly when you’ll marry, but some of you claimed that your spouse was nowhere to be found. Well, now we’ve created one that’ll tell you exactly who you’ll be dragging down that aisle. Take and start planning that wedding: 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are […]

More from Oldies

May 27, 2021

Children’s day, a day set apart for kids. Like they don’t win at life already? You’re not paying bills or rent and you have a day to celebrate yourself? Get me their manager, please. On days like this, we can’t help but remember how good we used to have it so we wrote this article […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X