Let’s be honest: “How was your night?” questions are unnecessary. Do people really want to hear about how the endless screams of your neighbour’s generator meant you didn’t get any sleep, or it’s just an attempt to make conversation? 

Don’t be basic. When you feel tempted to ask someone how their night was, ask these questions instead:

What bank do you use?

Of course, this needs to be followed by a request for their account number. Trust us, a credit alert in the morning will add colour to the rest of anyone’s day.

What’s your favourite luxury designer brand?

Bonus points if you’re trying to win their heart; a gift from their favourite designer will do all the talking.

Have you gotten your PVC?

Have you heard the price of oil in the market? Let’s help each other, biko. Nigeria needs saving.

Do you like semo?

We don’t need to tell you that if they answer “yes,” they’re cancelled. 

Are you active on Twitter NG?

Nigerian Twitter is the ghetto and we’ve heard that the people there are not always alright. Stay woke, bestie.

Does meatpie and water qualify as food on a date?

You better ask them before you go on a date with them and get dragged for ordering something else.

Do you have japa plans?

So you can beg them to show you the way before you wake up one day to see they’ve posted “welcome to a new dispensation”.

How is the light in your area?

Secure your next charging spot because you’ll never know when Nepa decides to start moving mad.  

NEXT READ: Try These Instead of Sleeping



Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.