My Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Date

July 27, 2016

My parents are quite strict, so when I got to University I decided to really enjoy myself!

Time to let loose!

Going out late.

Fun times.

Eating what I liked when I liked.

Sweet food!

One day, one fine 300 level guy I had become friendly with asked me out.

Fine boy!

Me, on the outside:

Cool. Calm. Collected.

Me, on the inside:

OMG! OMG! OMG!

The day of the date I was so excited.

So excited!

I wore my favourite dress, highest shoes and looked like a bad ass.

Really feeling myself!

Everything was going great; the conversation, the ambience.

This is excellent!

After a while the waiter started walking towards us with our food.

Finally!

Out of nowhere, this man tripped!

HAYYYY!!

And I was covered in a shower of rice and stew, plantain and chapman.

I was wearing what I was supposed to eat.

My date had a blank stare on his face for about 3 seconds.

“What just happened?”

Then he started laughing!

Oh my God!

I was so embarrassed! And I think 2 grains of rice were stuck in my false eyelashes

Let the floor swallow me please. Its better!

I almost started crying but I had to hold it all in.

As per form big girl.

I didn’t even get a kiss goodbye from my date!

So I will stain his outfit with stew abi? No way oh!

Me whenever my friends suggest we go back to that restaurant:

So my shame can be complete abi? Useless people
Avatar

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

March 5, 2021

Most people think a strip club is a place for only men, but women go there to have fun too. These ten Nigerian women share their experience at the strip club. Deborah, 28 I am a bisexual woman who has never actually been sexual with another woman, but I am utterly in love with the […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

December 3, 2019

Are you a professional Yoruba demon? Are you walking around in search of whose life you can wreck at any given time? Well, this quiz knows exactly how many hearts you’ve shattered to date, and before you lie that your result is inaccurate, just remember that Zikoko is never wrong. Now, take it and be […]

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

November 7, 2019

These days, everyone is always talking about how much sex they’re getting, or how little sex they’re getting, or how disgusting sex is etc. There’s just so much talk about sex, it’s almost impossible to know who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. In anticipation of our new series about the sex lives of young […]

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

More from General

February 19, 2021

Last weekend was truly a celebration of love as Union Bank x BellaNaija Weddings made dreams come true with a free surprise proposal for one couple and an all-expenses-paid wedding for another couple!  And just like that. Notey Akpotive and Obiora Chibuzor are now onestep closer to their happily ever after, thanks to Union Bank x BellaNaija Weddings […]

December 1, 2020

December 1st is World AIDS Day. It is a day to raise awareness about AIDS. We spoke to Doctor Opeyemi, to tell us some facts about the disease, common misconceptions and how to care for people living with AIDS. 1) AIDS AIDS (Acquired Immuno Deficiency Syndrome) is the late stage manifestation of the viral infection […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X