Times are hard and things are expensive. That’s why you should ask your boss for a raise. If they then refuse to give you, here are swift actions to take:

1) Steal their printers

Man must chop one way or the other. If your coworkers need to print anything, they should use the closest cyber cafe to them. Let them do their part in supporting black businesses.

2) Carry their AirConditioner

As they’ve decided to stop your soft life, you should stop their own. Only offices that increase salary should have AC.

3) Steal their generator

Since they don’t want you to be able to afford fuel, they too shouldn’t have light. You can decide to use the generator for yourself or you can even sell it.

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4) Log everyone out of the office account

While they’re trying to get everyone back online, nobody is working. That way, the hours you work will be balanced out by what they’ve decided to keep paying you.

5) Use your CEO’s signature to take out a loan

That money, you will collect it one way or the other. The loan is a long journey, but you’ve sha gotten your money.

6) Sell the office building

Since we’ve all decided to work remotely, your office won’t need their building anymore. Sell the building and add the money to your salary.

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7) Buy the company

Don’t they know that you were just asking for the salary increase to test them? You don’t need their salary increase. Now you have to buy the company to prove that you’re better than them. Maybe after you buy it, you can give yourself the salary increase.

8) Reduce the CEO’s salary

Since they want you to continue living on peanuts, then you should bring them down to that level as well. Let them see how their own soup tastes.




Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.