#ToHER: I’ve Been Too Absorbed With My Life to Notice Your Fake Smiles

August 14, 2022

We bring to you letters written by women to women they love, miss, cherish or just remember. To celebrate the support women continue to show each other, this is #ToHER.

From: Timah, a woman who wants to be as kind and present as her best friend

To: Wunmi, the best friend going through a rough patch

Dear Wunmi,

I’m sincerely sorry I haven’t been a good friend in the last year. I’ve been selfish and way too absorbed by my woes to notice how difficult life has become since your relationship ended. Too absorbed to notice your fake smile at my weird jokes, or how you ignored my rude remarks about the break-up even though they hurt. I’m sorry I wasn’t as sensitive as you needed me to be.

I always ascribed your incessant kindness to curiosity, but an epiphany has made me realise it stems from pure undiluted love.

I have no idea how someone so selfless and kind would care about a narcissist like me. But I want you to know, although I can’t promise to change overnight, I’ll always make a conscious effort to overwhelm you with delicious acts of service.

I want to go on dates with you — a soiree of some sort — as besties. I know taking pictures isn’t your forte, but imagine how we would freeze time with our awkward smiles and lopsided poses for shy girls.

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I want us to binge on your favourite snacks, stuffing our faces with every last crumb. Watching as you try something new and complain bitterly about false advertising and overpriced unnecessaries, or sandwich a compliment between mouthful sighs to water down the aspersions.

I want us to have sleepovers, comparing notes about past lovers, but eventually taking their sides and remembering only the good because we’re soft-hearted hard guys. I love our laughable combination of twisting and writhing we call dancing to loud evergreen songs. And doing it all while we’d sing wrong lyrics aloud without a care in the world. 

Wunmi, I want to dance with you, then slowly slip away and watch you dance alone, smiling ear-to-ear with a tear in my eye upon the realisation that I’ve struck gold by being friends with you.

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Complete happiness might not be realistic in this cracked-up world, so I pray for you to have complete contentment and a loving spouse who adores you. Anything less would be unacceptable.

I love you so much, and I hope life smiles broadly at you in every aspect you need and more. Let’s always be in each other’s lives.

Ifẹ ti Emi ko yẹ ni ohun ti o fun mi. O ti fẹràn mi lainidi. 

Thanks for loving me, my friend.

Your nonchalant sunshine,

Timah

We have three more slots for Letters #ToHER before it officially comes to an end. If you’d like to write a letter #ToHER, click here to tell us why

ALSO READ: 8 Things to Know Before Making Friends as an Adult

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