Trenches food is the cheap food people buy off the streets or roadside restaurants. The people of Twitter go on and on about how it’s the best kind of food out there, and to be honest, I don’t disagree. BUT not all of it is great, and that’s why I’ve decided to rank the top ten trenches foods from “hell no” to “top-tier”.
Eko and milk
I’ve never had this, but I bet it tastes as unappealing as it looks. People who say they like this are lying. How can you eat something that looks so bland?
Spaghetti and Beans
I understand we’re talking about trenches food, but come on now, spaghetti and beans? Why did anybody think this would be a good combination? There’s no way this tastes good because the textures of both meals just don’t go together. The worst is rice, spaghetti and beans. You must be eating for eating sake if you eat that.
Yam and beans
What is it with mama put and adding beans anywhere it’s not needed? Is yam and stew not good enough? Eating two heavy meals together can’t be good for anybody.
Agege bread and butter
Just bread and butter? No egg, beans, akara or even stew? It’s giving basic.
Akara and pap
Image credit: Cookpad
The best akara is the kind you buy from the mama down the road from your office at 7 a.m. before work starts. It’s straight out of the fire and goes perfectly with agege bread or pap hot enough to burn your throat. The bread is two days stale, and the pap is the kind they scoop with a big plastic cup.
Fried yam or potato with pepper sauce
Whether you have it early in the morning, afternoon or at night, fried yam or potato with pepper sauce will always bang. Take note though, it must be served inside black nylon or newspaper. If they give it to you in a styrofoam plate, it won’t have the sweet trenches taste.
White rice and ofada sauce
The rice has to come with ofada sauce that has enough pepper in it to make you cry, plenty of meat, two boiled eggs and five fingers of plantain.
White rice, stew and boiled egg
The egg has to be soaked in the stew, and the stew must have enough oil to reduce your life span by eight years. If not, the food won’t slap.
Mai shayi bread and egg
I’m not sure whether it’s the excess oil or how they press the bread in the frying pan after putting the egg in the middle, but mai shayi agege bread and egg sandwich tastes like it dropped from heaven.
Ewa agoyin and agege bread
Nothing beats trenches ewa agoyin. A restaurant opened up and tried to sell it in fancy packaging. That didn’t work out because the trenches is part of ewa agoyin’s sauce. It’s best served in a styrofoam plate with the oil dripping into the black nylon and staining everywhere.
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