One day, you visit a friend, only to find out that they store garri in their fridge. Friends and family, I’m here to tell you that just because your mum does something doesn’t mean it’s correct to do it too. 

Here are some things that shouldn’t be in your fridge, and if they’re, what it says about you. 


If you store your garri in the fridge, people shouldn’t joke with you at all o. You’ll defo break bottle on your head to remind people you’re not normal, at least twice a week. I’ve never met a normal person who actually likes garri, so carry on.

Jollof rice 

Jollof rice should be eaten hot and fresh, with heat nearly blinding you. Why are you eating jollof that has lost its essence from multiple defrosting? Are you against enjoyment?


Yam is already hard and void of love. You now want to store it in the fridge so it can get harder? It’ll turn into a rock-hard weapon that’s impossible to cut or peel, like you and all the layers of wickedness in your heart. Sheesh.

Plantain chips 

If you store your plantain chips in the fridge, you’re definitely a first born used to hiding food from your siblings. Storing them in the fridge will ruin the experience, abeg.


Suya is supposed to be eaten hot, preferably on the road to your house, so you don’t share it. Anyone who can eat cold suya can eat a human being. Yes, I said it.


Your taste buds stopped working when you were ten years old, if you store bread in the fridge. Imagine choosing to defrost bread, might as well soak it in water and eat it like cereal.


Onions need to breathe somewhere dry. How do I know? The Zikoko Bureau of Statistics, of course. I just know you don’t allow the people in your life to breathe when you’re around.


Storing honey in the fridge is like locking your puppy in a closet — it’s cruel and unnecessary. Honey lasts forever; chilling it will just make it thick and difficult to use.

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