Nostalgia | Page 2 of 5

Children’s day, a day set apart for kids. Like they don’t win at life already? You’re not paying bills or rent and you have a day to celebrate yourself? Get me their manager, please.

On days like this, we can’t help but remember how good we used to have it so we wrote this article just for you.

1. The advertisement’s a week before

Every brand that lives on God’s green earth would do what I like to call the battle of brands, dishing out heartwarming adverts so we could all beg our parents to buy us things we’d hate an hour later. How else would you know children’s day was close?

2. The parties

You either went to a party hosted by a television station, a bank, a restaurant, an amusement park or that one family friends mom that has plenty of money and the party? Capri-sun, those weird erasers that don’t work, surprise pack. Those were the days, with the bouncing castles and rides.

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3. The parades

I was and will always be against marching for no reason but people seemed to enjoy marching at the national stadium and there were gifts there too.

4. The party food

The Jollof, with big pieces of chicken and hot drinks, always slapped better when we knew we were being celebrated. Some things just feel sacred

5. The party games

We were allowed to lose our home training only on the dance floor. Is it ridiculous to dancing Shakira’s hips don’t lie in a ball gown? Yes, but that was not the point. If you won, who gon’ check you? The dance around the chair game mostly ended in tears and the one where you’d have to bring out the person that brought you to the party to dance, take me back.

6. The gear

Nice shoes and clothes if your parents were about that life, wristwatches that didn’t work after that day and the sunglasses, don’t forget the sunglasses.

7. The do-over party

Churches and mosques would still celebrate the kids again when they went to church or the mosque. Man what a time we had during children’s day.

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If you attended a Nigerian primary school then this quiz should be a breeze for you.

Give it a try below:
Christmas is coming. And for most of us, it no longer holds as much excitement as it did when we were children. Responsibilities and adulthood have changed us. But let’s throw it all the way back to when we were children.

1. By this time, cloth would have been bought.

Either ready-made or cut and sew. If it’s cut and sew, they would have taken it to the tailor to avoid stories.

2. They would have measured your leg with a broomstick so they can get shoe size.

Those leather shoes in a box or canvas with blinking lights.

3. A chicken would have been tied outside the house.

We’ll be feeding it rice and bread and other left overs.

4. Small small renovations would be taking place by now.

Painting, patching places, or simply hanging up decorations.

5. They would have started selling 3 sound bangers by now.

All the sounds sef. Plus plastic sunglasses and Santa masks.

6. And Christmas hats too!

But this one will be bought when Christmas carol is close.

7. And finally, “Odun n lo s’opin” would be the major anthem.

This is the only thing that hasn’t changed. It is still being played and now, we have more understanding.

7 Foods You Can Serve Your Neighbours This Christmas
We already tested your knowledge of Cartoon Network, and now, we want to see how well you know the OG Nickelodeon shows. If you’re a millennial, this is your chance to shine.

Go ahead:
If you have Nigerian parents then you’ll relate to one or more of the points on this list:

1) “It’s for your own good”

They say this after beating you like you killed Jesus. Mummy and daddy, the constant beatings is why “half” of Nigerians have a BDSM fetish. They’re trying to recreate childhood “nostalgia.”

2) “You made me very angry”

Nothing like accountability in the dictionary of older Nigerians.

3) “You’ll thank me in the future”

I hate lies.

4) “My parents did the same”

Is PTSD also part of inheritance?

5) “You’ll become an armed robber if I don’t train you”

Everybody involved in this lie, hands up.

6) “Spare the road & spoil the child”

Perish that idea.

7) “As long as you’re under my roof”

The ultimate my word is final card that justifies any behavior from Nigerian parents.

8) “After all the money I paid”

How much is my life worth? Is that why I deserve this beating?

9) “I’ll not let you embarrass me outside”

Is it because of small embarrassment that you’re trying to kill me?

10) “The dollar price is frustrating me”

Emefiele come outside and fight.

[donation]
1) Appetisers consisting of soft Cabin biscuits and undiluted Tasty Time.

The biscuits were soft because they’d been set out in the open for long and the juice was undiluted because fuck diabetes.

2) Candy so strong it’ll break a few of the children’s teeth.

In the absence of rock hard candy, there was always candy so sugary that it rot their teeth instantly.

3) A fucking terrifying clown

I don’t understand how children like this shit.

4) People cosplaying as severely malnourished/strung out versions of popular cartoon characters.

Barney the Dinosaur was the common one.

5) Dancing competitions where the kids dance to absurdly explicit songs for a chance to win worthless prizes.

Children would stomp the yard and each other (these things always involve small violence) for the grand prize; A Maths Set.

6) Terrible pictures of all the kids.

Have you ever tried holding a child’s attention during picture time? The worst.

7) Party packs full of even more useless stuff.

Goody Goody, Barbie pencils that snap in half if you hold them with more than two fingers, a glass pencil sharpener, etc.
I feel like every single person that grew up in Nigeria had the same childhood. So, that’s why this quiz shouldn’t be too difficult.

Give it a try below:

11 Quizzes For People Who Grew Up In Nigeria

Prove your Nigerian-ness. Take these quizzes.
Full Form: Tomorrow

Only 5 year olds who have lisps and have been punched in the mouth because of said lisp should be pronouncing shit like this.

Full Form: Cool

I can’t explain it but people who spell the word “cool” like this also eat expired gala and hot Gulder while chilling in uncompleted buildings. Interpret this however you want.

Full Form: Coming

This one is insane because “cumming” was already a well-known slang for ejaculation when Nigerians began using it as a regular word. Even more insane is that both the actual word and the “short form” are the same length. So wtf was really the point?

Full Form: Laugh Wan Kill Me Die

Nothing is that funny. Stop lying.

Full Form: Alternate form of “sup,” and short form of “What’s Up?”

I guess you could say this started with “xmas” but the full form of that is long enough to justify a short form. “Sup” already exists. Why this?

Full Form: Happy Birthday

If you plan to send me this on my birthday, don’t. Also, do me a favour and never speak to me again. Because I don’t want to be in contact with anyone who thinks shit like this is cute.

Full Form: How Are You?

Just stop it.
If you grew up in the 2000s, then you did one or more of these things:

1) Using floppy disks.

I can’t even remember what we used it for. Lmao.

2) Manually looking up words in a dictionary.

Those small Oxford dictionaries suffered in my hands.

3) Waiting for Channels to show cartoons on Sunday.

Who else remembers watching Spider man on Channels?

4) Doing midnight calls on MTN.

Good times oh.

5) Eagerly waiting for the next episode of Super Story or Papa Ajasco.

Toyin Tomato and Suara.

6) Using flip phones.

There was no greater swag than closing this phone in anger.

7) Believing in witches and wizards.

It’s a pity that kids these days don’t have Mount Zion movies to scare them correct.

8) Listening to music on Walkman or MP3 players.

Who else remembers listening to Craig David’s “I’m walking away” on their Walkman?

9) Going to Cyber Cafes.

Thank God for affordable mobile data. The days of overnight browsing are well over.

10) Recording your ringtone from the radio.

Then begging everyone to be quiet while you recorded it.

11) Buying 100 in 1 DVD’s.

The very first “Netflix.” So many options to choose from.

12) Actually hating WhatsApp calls.

There was a time that WhatsApp calls were deemed a “broke” people thing. Thank God for growth.
I remember a time where needs were simple. All I did was play with friends, watch cartoons, eat, and pray for my parents to buy me presents. For boys growing up in the 90s and early 2000s, here is a list of toys that made our day:

1) Water gun.

Police and thief was lit as hell.

2) Toy cars.

The ultimate childhood dream.

3) Health and felele balls.

Oh simple things, where have you gone?

4) Plastic figures.

Who remembers buying them inside chin-chin?

5) More guns.

With these guns, I felt invisible.

6) Yoyo.

For all the OG’s out there.

7) Brick games.

What a time to be alive!

8) SEGA mega drive.

He shoots! He shoots! – blocked shot.

9) Game boy color.

Pokemon hear am that year.

10) “Christmas” shoes.

The ultimate sign that you had arrived. You’d march extra hard on assembly ground so everyone could notice your shoes.

11) Lego.

What did we not try to build with this thing?

12) Calculator watch.

I miss the simplicity of childhood.

Did I miss anything? Let me know in the comments section!

1. The advertisement’s a week before

2. The parties

3. The parades

4. The party food

5. The party games

6. The gear

7. The do-over party

1. By this time, cloth would have been bought.

2. They would have measured your leg with a broomstick so they can get shoe size.

3. A chicken would have been tied outside the house.

4. Small small renovations would be taking place by now.

5. They would have started selling 3 sound bangers by now.

6. And Christmas hats too!

7. And finally, “Odun n lo s’opin” would be the major anthem.

7 Foods You Can Serve Your Neighbours This Christmas

1) “It’s for your own good”

2) “You made me very angry”

3) “You’ll thank me in the future”

4) “My parents did the same”

5) “You’ll become an armed robber if I don’t train you”

6) “Spare the road & spoil the child”

7) “As long as you’re under my roof”

8) “After all the money I paid”

9) “I’ll not let you embarrass me outside”

10) “The dollar price is frustrating me”

11 Quizzes For People Who Grew Up In Nigeria

1) Using floppy disks.

2) Manually looking up words in a dictionary.

3) Waiting for Channels to show cartoons on Sunday.

4) Doing midnight calls on MTN.

5) Eagerly waiting for the next episode of Super Story or Papa Ajasco.

6) Using flip phones.

7) Believing in witches and wizards.

8) Listening to music on Walkman or MP3 players.

9) Going to Cyber Cafes.

10) Recording your ringtone from the radio.

11) Buying 100 in 1 DVD’s.

12) Actually hating WhatsApp calls.

1) Water gun.

2) Toy cars.

3) Health and felele balls.

4) Plastic figures.

5) More guns.

6) Yoyo.

7) Brick games.

8) SEGA mega drive.

9) Game boy color.

10) “Christmas” shoes.

11) Lego.

12) Calculator watch.