7 Social Media Spellings That Need To Die By Fire

September 3, 2020

Full Form: Tomorrow

Only 5 year olds who have lisps and have been punched in the mouth because of said lisp should be pronouncing shit like this.

Full Form: Cool

I can’t explain it but people who spell the word “cool” like this also eat expired gala and hot Gulder while chilling in uncompleted buildings. Interpret this however you want.

Full Form: Coming

This one is insane because “cumming” was already a well-known slang for ejaculation when Nigerians began using it as a regular word. Even more insane is that both the actual word and the “short form” are the same length. So wtf was really the point?

Full Form: Laugh Wan Kill Me Die

Nothing is that funny. Stop lying.

Full Form: Alternate form of “sup,” and short form of “What’s Up?”

I guess you could say this started with “xmas” but the full form of that is long enough to justify a short form. “Sup” already exists. Why this?

Full Form: Happy Birthday

If you plan to send me this on my birthday, don’t. Also, do me a favour and never speak to me again. Because I don’t want to be in contact with anyone who thinks shit like this is cute.

Full Form: How Are You?

Just stop it.

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March 5, 2020

As far as addictions go, music is pretty tame, we’ll be honest. I mean, if we had to choose between obsessively jamming Burna Boy’s ‘Ye’ in the first week of its release, and taking a bump of that Colorado all the children are hitting these days, it’s team Obnoxious African giant all day. But that’s […]

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September 29, 2020

If you had planned to skip the upcoming FIFA 21, you should probably reconsider. Yesterday, EA released the official soundtrack for the game, and it features songs by Nigerian superstars, Fireboy DML and Rema. Fireboy DML’s “Scatter”, off his acclaimed debut album, Laughter, Tears and Goosebumps, and Rema’s “Beamer” both made the cut, alongside tracks […]

September 29, 2020

It is estimated that Nigerians smoke 40 billion cigarettes every year, with 11 million people lighting up 110 million sticks of cigarettes every day. These numbers are rightly alarming as approximately one out of every ten Nigerians smoke cigarettes. Nicotine is a stimulant present in cigarettes. It’s also responsible for addiction to cigarettes. This chemical […]

September 29, 2020

Have you ever tried to buy a wig from an online vendor? If you have, then you know these struggles all too well. 1) Price of wig You see a beautiful wig; double drawn, inches are inching, the curls are bouncing as they should. While still looking at the beauty that is the wig, you […]

September 29, 2020

They will beg and cry for a loan but will pull a “Is that why you’re calling me?” when you want your money back. They are popularly known as Onigbese and are the absolute worst. Take this quiz to find out if you are an Onigbese.

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December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

April 3, 2020

While the rest of the world loves to treat our continent like a country, there are actually 54 African countries. So, in a bid to test your knowledge (and educate you), we’ve created a quiz to see how many of their capitals you can correctly name. Go ahead:

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

November 11, 2019

Everyone has something to say about what kind of person they are. But how well do we truthfully evaluate these things? Not that much, I can assure you. The average person is always lying to themselves to make sure they look good. But you know what and who doesn’t lie? Zikoko quizzes that’s what. Take […]

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September 29, 2020

If you had planned to skip the upcoming FIFA 21, you should probably reconsider. Yesterday, EA released the official soundtrack for the game, and it features songs by Nigerian superstars, Fireboy DML and Rema. Fireboy DML’s “Scatter”, off his acclaimed debut album, Laughter, Tears and Goosebumps, and Rema’s “Beamer” both made the cut, alongside tracks […]

Zikoko - Big Brother Naija Finale
September 28, 2020

Big Brother Naija 2020 has come to an end, and Laycon has won as we all knew he would. This BBNaija season turned out to be a script written by Nigerians and fiercely directed by Laycon’s fans. There may have been some unforeseen plot twists at the beginning but by week 8 everything became abundantly […]

September 25, 2020

Thanks to the success of her anthemic hit, “Try Me”, Tems, born Temilade Openiyi, was one of 2019’s biggest breakout stars. Now, she’s dropped a new EP, For Broken Ears, and I’ve already listened to it three times. Prior to the release of the project, Tems dropped “Damages”, a solid lead single that hinted at […]

September 23, 2020

You’ll find a Nigerian song about everything; politics, food, drugs… everything. On today’s Ranked, I’m looking at Nigerian songs about butts. What’s your favourite Nigerian song about butts? 9. “Lalakukulala” – Oladips ft. Reminisce  You’ll probably forget this song is about butts by the time you begin to dance. Nice song. I can’t make much out […]

September 23, 2020

Yesterday, a video broke out on the internet about a guy who went into a BBNaija voting centre for Nengi fans to vote Laycon and got assaulted. Here’s the video: First thoughts: There are BBNaija voting centres? What happens in these centres if everyone just votes from their phones. Non BBNaija fans need more clarity […]

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