7 Strange Things That Were At Every Children’s Party In The 90s

September 8, 2020

1) Appetisers consisting of soft Cabin biscuits and undiluted Tasty Time.

The biscuits were soft because they’d been set out in the open for long and the juice was undiluted because fuck diabetes.

2) Candy so strong it’ll break a few of the children’s teeth.

In the absence of rock hard candy, there was always candy so sugary that it rot their teeth instantly.

3) A fucking terrifying clown

I don’t understand how children like this shit.

4) People cosplaying as severely malnourished/strung out versions of popular cartoon characters.

Barney the Dinosaur was the common one.

5) Dancing competitions where the kids dance to absurdly explicit songs for a chance to win worthless prizes.

Children would stomp the yard and each other (these things always involve small violence) for the grand prize; A Maths Set.

6) Terrible pictures of all the kids.

Have you ever tried holding a child’s attention during picture time? The worst.

7) Party packs full of even more useless stuff.

Goody Goody, Barbie pencils that snap in half if you hold them with more than two fingers, a glass pencil sharpener, etc.

You'll like this

Astor George

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

Watch

Now on Zikoko

September 29, 2020

If you had planned to skip the upcoming FIFA 21, you should probably reconsider. Yesterday, EA released the official soundtrack for the game, and it features songs by Nigerian superstars, Fireboy DML and Rema. Fireboy DML’s “Scatter”, off his acclaimed debut album, Laughter, Tears and Goosebumps, and Rema’s “Beamer” both made the cut, alongside tracks […]

September 29, 2020

It is estimated that Nigerians smoke 40 billion cigarettes every year, with 11 million people lighting up 110 million sticks of cigarettes every day. These numbers are rightly alarming as approximately one out of every ten Nigerians smoke cigarettes. Nicotine is a stimulant present in cigarettes. It’s also responsible for addiction to cigarettes. This chemical […]

September 29, 2020

Have you ever tried to buy a wig from an online vendor? If you have, then you know these struggles all too well. 1) Price of wig You see a beautiful wig; double drawn, inches are inching, the curls are bouncing as they should. While still looking at the beauty that is the wig, you […]

September 29, 2020

They will beg and cry for a loan but will pull a “Is that why you’re calling me?” when you want your money back. They are popularly known as Onigbese and are the absolute worst. Take this quiz to find out if you are an Onigbese.

Recommended Quizzes

November 7, 2019

These days, everyone is always talking about how much sex they’re getting, or how little sex they’re getting, or how disgusting sex is etc. There’s just so much talk about sex, it’s almost impossible to know who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. In anticipation of our new series about the sex lives of young […]

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already. QUIZ: Why Do You Have […]

November 11, 2019

Everyone has something to say about what kind of person they are. But how well do we truthfully evaluate these things? Not that much, I can assure you. The average person is always lying to themselves to make sure they look good. But you know what and who doesn’t lie? Zikoko quizzes that’s what. Take […]

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

October 10, 2019

2019 is certainly Burna Boy’s year, but, if we are being honest, so was 2018. Since his transcendent mixtape, Outside, the afro-fusion star has refused to get his foot of our necks — dropping a string of fantastic singles and then capping it all off with his career-best album, African Giant.  So, in a bid […]

More from Inside Life

September 29, 2020

It is estimated that Nigerians smoke 40 billion cigarettes every year, with 11 million people lighting up 110 million sticks of cigarettes every day. These numbers are rightly alarming as approximately one out of every ten Nigerians smoke cigarettes. Nicotine is a stimulant present in cigarettes. It’s also responsible for addiction to cigarettes. This chemical […]

September 29, 2020

The Petroleum Industry Bill (PIB) is one of the most important bills that hasn’t been passed in Nigeria. If it is passed, there will be a clear separation of roles in Nigeria’s oil sector. Corporations like the NNPC will also become profit-oriented companies, and “host” communities in the Niger Delta will get better deals from […]

September 28, 2020

Remember (Senator) Elisha Abbo? The same person that physically assaulted a young woman in a sex toy shop n May 2019? Well, a court has just granted judgement that 50 million naira be paid to the assaulted woman, Warmate Osimibibra. In Suit No FHC:CV/2393/19 Osimibabra Warmate v. Senator Elisha Abbo, the Court awarded 50 million […]

September 28, 2020

Yesterday, we wrote on how the NLC and its 4 million members would go on strike if they did not reach an agreement with the federal government.  Well, the NLC has suspended its strike for two weeks, meaning some agreements were made for the meantime. This is everything the newspapers are not telling you they […]

September 27, 2020

The Federal Government will meet with leaders of the Nigerian Labour Congress (NLC) and the Trade Union Congress (TUC) by 7 pm this evening (Sunday 27 September 2020) over their planned mass strike on the increase in petrol and electricity prices. NLC and TUC have said that there is “no going back” on their strike […]

September 26, 2020

The subject of this week’s Sex Life is a lesbian in her early 20s who, after many trysts with boys, discovered her sexuality when she got to university. . After one traumatic sexual experience though, she’s now terrified of sleeping with women.

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.
January 27, 2020
Nigerians Talk is what happened when a motley crew of young Nigerians were put in front of a camera and asked a bunch of apparently random questions about life, love, money and more.
September 24, 2019
A group of Zikoko staff go on a road trip to every mainland country in ECOWAS West Africa

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X