How’s the interior of that groundnut bottle?

“Don’t grow up, it’s a trap” but we didn’t listen. Now, here we are, all grown, reading this post about a time we wanted to so desperately leave behind. Here are some things we now miss: 1) Exchange rate. I miss the days of 1 Dollar = 150 Naira. 2) Proper holidays. I can’t believe […]

Nigerian parents are the custodians of punishment and flogging. Their mantra is simple: “Spare the rod and spoil the child.” This explains why they get overzealous and go on a flogging spree. What’s the craziest thing you have ever been flogged for? Ours are below. 1. For crying. “Why are you crying? Ehn, answer me, […]

Because you can’t keep running on 3 hours worth of sleep every night.

There are numerous advantages that come with being tall in life. But what specific situations should you be happy that you are tall? 1) When they are picking head boy in secondary school. Control them with height. 2) When Sanwo-Olu is pointing at someone for blessings. You. Yes! you. 3) If your team has a […]

A sarcastic post about finding out if you are the side chick in your relationship

Techniques and methods to cheat in an examination

Just putting it out there: This is a work of fiction and in no way has any relationship to anyone whether living (me) or dead (me if my boss thinks this is a sub). That being said, follow this guide if you want to unlock level 100 in this adulting business. Type very loudly on […]

Forget all you have read in those dusty magazines about what women love. Because we care about you so much, we have curated some of the best things you can do to change the game. Let’s start: 1) Sleep and give her peace of mind. Nothing beats peace and quiet. 2) Cuddle. Romance. 3) Gist […]

Parents are always right. Period. No questions asked. It’s a hot day, you are countering your parents with logical and well-laid points. Finally, a win to complete your training and establish your dominance. Suddenly, your parents bring out one or more of these from their arsenal of an adult is never wrong. 1) “Children of […]

Step1: Always be prepared to run.

For the life of me, I have never understood why people ask ‘how was your night’. What response do these special people expect when they ask this? Do they think I’ll sit them down and explain that my eye is twitching because I spent all night binge-watching Assistant Madams and writing a thesis as to […]

If you live in Nigeria, there are sounds/noises that you have grown used to. At this point, they are so ingrained in our daily lives that we should just give them citizenship at this point. 1) Sound from mosque/church. I can’t decide the winner between early morning “where will you spend eternity?” and call to […]

Has your penis ever been caught in your zipper?

Your digestive system will thank you.

If you grew up with older siblings, chances are they were annoying as hell. Always doing the most and making the younger ones look bad. However, the leader of the bad gang was the firstborn. Here’s a list of all the annoying things firstborns do that we are tired of. 1) Hide their properties. Is […]

NYSC camp is the ghetto. But you know what’s even more ghetto? Having to survive NYSC camp. We asked 11 corpers how they survived NYSC camp.

Are anthropomorphic mascots really necessary?

Remember all the time you spent side-eyeing your Nigerian mother whenever she did something ridiculously Nigerian mother-y in public and you swore you would do everything in your power to make sure you didn’t end up like her? Well, I have news for you. You failed. Before you start arguing, read the points below and […]

Remember growing up and thinking your dad was too serious with life and needed to relax and unwind just a little? Well, if you can relate to one of these, you are slowly becoming like him. Don’t cry, don’t beg. 1) You are happy when you have money, quiet when you don’t. Because money is […]

Not every cat is an old witch in disguise.