7 Nigerians Talk About The First Time They Had Sex

April 22, 2020

It’s pretty common to have unrealistic expectations about how your first time having sex will turn out. Thanks to movies and books, many hope for something magical and earth-shattering, but that’s rarely ever the case.

So, we asked 7 Nigerians to share with us how their first times went — juxtaposing expectation with reality. From panic attacks to performance anxiety, their stories are varied and real.

Demola, 29/Male/Bisexual

Since I didn’t know I was bisexual until I turned 16, I spent most of my teenage years expecting my first time to be with a woman. In my head, it was going to be really sexy and romantic.

My first time was neither of those things. I was 17 and it was with a guy I met on Facebook. It was terribly awkward. I was so nervous that I could barely maintain an erection, and when I finally did, I came in seconds.

Tomisin, 25/Female/Bisexual

TW: This story contains distressing information. Reader’s discretion is advised.

Growing up, I hoped my first time would be mind-blowing. It wasn’t at all. I told my boyfriend at the time that I wasn’t ready to have sex. I made it clear that only making out was on the table.

After dating for 9months, he said he was no longer sure I was a virgin. So, he locked me in his room one night, refusing to let me leave until he “confirmed” that I was a virgin. 

I had a curfew and a strict mum, so I just gave in. It was painful and he wasn’t gentle. At the time, I didn’t know I’d been raped. After everything, the asshole still accused me of lying because there wasn’t blood.

John, 29/Male/Straight

I never really thought about having sex until it happened. There were times I was presented with the opportunity, but I was scared. I liked blowjobs and breast, but the vagina scared me.

When I was 16, my friend took me to a brothel and told a babe to take me up. I’d been drinking all day, so when she spread her legs and I saw my first vagina, I puked all over her. We obviously didn’t have sex after that.

I finally did it when I was 20. It was with a babe I’d been dating and I tried to avoid eye contact with her vagina. It actually felt really great, until she randomly said “I am giving you everything, if you leave me I’ll kill you”

I freaked out and stopped. She tried to get me to continue, but I was already too weirded out. She then claimed I’d turned her into a whore, got dressed and left. The whole thing was just a messy first experience.

Dami, 22/Female/Straight

I’m not quite sure how I hoped my first time would turn out, but I knew I didn’t want it to be uncomfortable. At 19, most of my friends had already had sex, and their stories were horrifying.

I also knew I didn’t want it to be with a random person. I didn’t need it to be with a boyfriend, just someone I was comfortable with. I was prepared to wait however long for that, and that’s what I did. 

When it finally happened, it was really good, but that wasn’t even the best part. That came days later when he asked me about the experience. He made me feel comfortable enough to talk about it without shame or guilt.

Simon, 22/Male/ Gay

I grew up on Disney and romance novels, so I expected my first time to be magical. I also assumed that whoever I had my first time with would always be special to me Now, I have him blocked because he kept calling me.

I was 15 when it happened, and it was meh. It hurt. It was extra annoying because the guy had been going on and on about his sexual prowess. He was 19, so I believed him. I just ended up laying there until it was over.

Deola, 24/Female/Lesbian

I knew from a pretty young age that I was attracted to only women, but I still struggled with fully accepting that part of myself. So, I was never able to really imagine myself having sex with a woman. 

It eventually happened when I was 17. It was with a friend, and it was awful. I worked myself up so much that I ended up having a panic attack while she was going down on me. Thankfully, she was very understanding.

Chidi, 27/Male/Straight

I wasn’t a particularly horny teenager, so I had never really thought about how I wanted my first time to be. So much so that when it finally happened, I was completely unprepared and had no clue what to expect. 

It happened when I turned 19. My girlfriend at the time had just broken up with me, so I was at a party I was hosting getting sad drunk. A friend found me alone in my room, comforted me and left to call my ex. 

A few hours later, she turned up. We hashed out our issues, apologised and she just climbed on top of me. She was a virgin too, so it hurt her, but she kept going until she couldn’t anymore. We tried again that night, and it was wild. 

If you would like to read more Sex Life stories, you can click right here.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

April 9, 2020

NYSC redeployment is a thing. People who don’t like their posting can apply to be redeployed to another state. Other conditions for being redeployed include marriage, insecurity, and health conditions, among others. More often than not, a lot of corps members redeploy. This list is for people who chose the redeployment option. 1. You, thinking […]


Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

February 26, 2020

Are you all set for marriage, or are you still figuring it out? Well, if you’re curious to know the answer, then this is the quiz for you. All you have to do is create your own ideal Nollywood wedding film, and we’ll tell you if you’re ready to say “I do”. Go ahead:

December 3, 2019

Are you a professional Yoruba demon? Are you walking around in search of whose life you can wreck at any given time? Well, this quiz knows exactly how many hearts you’ve shattered to date, and before you lie that your result is inaccurate, just remember that Zikoko is never wrong. Now, take it and be […]

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

November 15, 2019

There are two types of people in Nigeria right now: those who are proud Marlians, and those who are still in denial about stanning the divisive star. So, for those who proudly wear the Marlian tag, we made a quiz to test how well you really know Naira Marley. If you get more than 6 […]

November 7, 2019

These days, everyone is always talking about how much sex they’re getting, or how little sex they’re getting, or how disgusting sex is etc. There’s just so much talk about sex, it’s almost impossible to know who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. In anticipation of our new series about the sex lives of young […]

More from Inside Life


Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.