7 Nigerians Talk About The First Time They Had Sex

April 22, 2020

It’s pretty common to have unrealistic expectations about how your first time having sex will turn out. Thanks to movies and books, many hope for something magical and earth-shattering, but that’s rarely ever the case.

So, we asked 7 Nigerians to share with us how their first times went — juxtaposing expectation with reality. From panic attacks to performance anxiety, their stories are varied and real.

Demola, 29/Male/Bisexual

Since I didn’t know I was bisexual until I turned 16, I spent most of my teenage years expecting my first time to be with a woman. In my head, it was going to be really sexy and romantic.

My first time was neither of those things. I was 17 and it was with a guy I met on Facebook. It was terribly awkward. I was so nervous that I could barely maintain an erection, and when I finally did, I came in seconds.

Tomisin, 25/Female/Bisexual

TW: This story contains distressing information. Reader’s discretion is advised.

Growing up, I hoped my first time would be mind-blowing. It wasn’t at all. I told my boyfriend at the time that I wasn’t ready to have sex. I made it clear that only making out was on the table.

After dating for 9months, he said he was no longer sure I was a virgin. So, he locked me in his room one night, refusing to let me leave until he “confirmed” that I was a virgin. 

I had a curfew and a strict mum, so I just gave in. It was painful and he wasn’t gentle. At the time, I didn’t know I’d been raped. After everything, the asshole still accused me of lying because there wasn’t blood.

John, 29/Male/Straight

I never really thought about having sex until it happened. There were times I was presented with the opportunity, but I was scared. I liked blowjobs and breast, but the vagina scared me.

When I was 16, my friend took me to a brothel and told a babe to take me up. I’d been drinking all day, so when she spread her legs and I saw my first vagina, I puked all over her. We obviously didn’t have sex after that.

I finally did it when I was 20. It was with a babe I’d been dating and I tried to avoid eye contact with her vagina. It actually felt really great, until she randomly said “I am giving you everything, if you leave me I’ll kill you”

I freaked out and stopped. She tried to get me to continue, but I was already too weirded out. She then claimed I’d turned her into a whore, got dressed and left. The whole thing was just a messy first experience.

Dami, 22/Female/Straight

I’m not quite sure how I hoped my first time would turn out, but I knew I didn’t want it to be uncomfortable. At 19, most of my friends had already had sex, and their stories were horrifying.

I also knew I didn’t want it to be with a random person. I didn’t need it to be with a boyfriend, just someone I was comfortable with. I was prepared to wait however long for that, and that’s what I did. 

When it finally happened, it was really good, but that wasn’t even the best part. That came days later when he asked me about the experience. He made me feel comfortable enough to talk about it without shame or guilt.

Simon, 22/Male/ Gay

I grew up on Disney and romance novels, so I expected my first time to be magical. I also assumed that whoever I had my first time with would always be special to me Now, I have him blocked because he kept calling me.

I was 15 when it happened, and it was meh. It hurt. It was extra annoying because the guy had been going on and on about his sexual prowess. He was 19, so I believed him. I just ended up laying there until it was over.

Deola, 24/Female/Lesbian

I knew from a pretty young age that I was attracted to only women, but I still struggled with fully accepting that part of myself. So, I was never able to really imagine myself having sex with a woman. 

It eventually happened when I was 17. It was with a friend, and it was awful. I worked myself up so much that I ended up having a panic attack while she was going down on me. Thankfully, she was very understanding.

Chidi, 27/Male/Straight

I wasn’t a particularly horny teenager, so I had never really thought about how I wanted my first time to be. So much so that when it finally happened, I was completely unprepared and had no clue what to expect. 

It happened when I turned 19. My girlfriend at the time had just broken up with me, so I was at a party I was hosting getting sad drunk. A friend found me alone in my room, comforted me and left to call my ex. 

A few hours later, she turned up. We hashed out our issues, apologised and she just climbed on top of me. She was a virgin too, so it hurt her, but she kept going until she couldn’t anymore. We tried again that night, and it was wild. 


If you would like to read more Sex Life stories, you can click right here.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

March 4, 2022

In view of the humanitarian crisis in Ukraine, MTN has announced it will be offering free international calls and SMS to all existing prepaid and postpaid customers, effective immediately. This offer is aimed at supporting customers to stay in touch with their loved ones while eliminating associated International Direct Dialing (IDD) costs due to high […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 12, 2019

Are you a single pringle, stuck in a complicated situationship or happily married to the love of your life? This quiz is here to guess your current relationship status, and as you know, Zikoko quizzes are incredibly accurate (don’t quote us). So, give a shot:

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

how tall are you
March 11, 2020

Did your parents give you enough beans when you were growing up? If they did, then you’re probably around 6’0″ and above. Either way, we created a quiz that can guess your current height (pretty accurately, if we do say so ourselves). Take to see if we nailed it:

More from Inside Life

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X