6 Nigerians On Falling In Love With Their Best Friends

March 20, 2021

Few things are messier than catching feelings for your best friend. While it’s possible they feel the same way about you, it’s highly unlikely, and you end up with a broken heart and a friendship that never quite feels the same.

So, as someone who likes messiness, I asked a few Nigerians to share stories about falling in love with their best friends, and the experiences ranged from surprisingly adorable to painfully tragic.

Amy, 29

My best friend and I have known each other for over 15 years. People have always teased us about dating, but I just couldn’t see it. Then one day, I looked at him and realised I was attracted to him. The next thing I knew, I fell fast and hard. I actually thought I was losing my mind. 

He had been in a relationship for years, so I didn’t want to say anything, but after like six months, I blurted it out. He seemed shocked and confused. I don’t remember exactly what he said, but he obviously mentioned his girlfriend. I told him he had to reject me outright, so the shame would snap me out of it.

I didn’t speak to him for months in an attempt to get over him, which was really hard because our lives are very interwoven. We randomly started speaking again, and there was no awkwardness. It’s been over two years since the big reveal, and while it comes up in passing from time to time, that’s about it. We’re good and back to normal.

Ehi, 27

We’ve been friends for over 10 years, and we do almost everything together. Even friends and family keep asking why we’re not dating. So, I finally decided to shoot my shot. I guess he didn’t want me to feel rejected, so he said he has issues with commitment, but I shouldn’t reject him if he ever comes back in the future for a relationship.

I cried for days because I realised how much I love him, but I had to accept my reality. It’s been hard remaining friends with him, but I have to constantly remind myself that he doesn’t feel the same, and it’s fine. I had to mute him on all my social media accounts because I can’t stand his interactions with women I know he’s sleeping with. Still, I show up whenever he needs me.

James, 26

We’ve been best friends for 5 years. He is the first person I told I was gay, and although he is straight, he was kind and supportive. I guess that’s one of the reasons I fell in love with him. A part of me knew he was just being nice whenever he complimented me, hugged me tightly or joked about how any guy would be lucky to have me, but I let myself believe he might feel the same way.

I eventually told him how I felt, and even though he let me down as nicely as he could have, it still broke my heart into a million pieces. He has been trying his best to make the friendship go back to normal, but it’s just too hard for me. It hurts so much. I hope I can move past this because I miss my best friend.

Esther, 27

We were friends in secondary school, l but I left in JSS 2. We met up again at university and became very close, very fast. The tension was there, but he was a “big boy” in school, and I hated attention, so I just stayed in my lane. 

Fast forward to our second year, and I knew I had feelings for him, but I wasn’t sure if he felt the same way — he is a hard man to read. I eventually found the courage to tell him, and he was very mean about it. He said I had zoned him, so he didn’t understand what I was talking about.

I took my L and was very sad for a bit. We didn’t talk much after that. A few weeks later, he came to apologise for how he handled it. He said used to like me but had to stop when I started calling him my best friend.

We agreed that it wasn’t meant to be and decided to remain friends. It was very awkward at first because he started dating someone I knew, and I felt a little jealous, but it slowly became less awkward when I started dating someone too. We’re still friends, but it never went back to the way it was.

Chima, 23

We were seeking admission together, so we were in constant communication. That made the feelings I had held back in secondary school start bubbling back up. Even though we were now really close friends, I decided I was going to tell her how I felt. 

So, we went on a walk one day, and I asked her, “Would you date your best or very close friend?” She first laughed out loud for like five minutes straight, then she said, “Why not?” In my mind, I was hailing myself for being a sharp guy. 

A few days later, I went to her house and told her how I felt. She laughed and said she’d liked me since secondary school, but I always preferred her friends. She said it was too late for us to date because we are now too close. It hurt for a while, but we are now closer friends than ever.

Dami, 30

We were both in relationships at the time, but there had always been tension underneath our friendship. One day, we went for a party at a friend’s place, and while we were talking, he asked me, “Is this it? Is your boyfriend your last bus stop?” and I was like, “Yeah, he is. Unless you wanted to do something about it.”

Then I just word vomited how much I loved him and how this was the last time I was willing to lay it bare. He was like, “I love you a lot but not in the way you need me to”. I thought I was going to die. We ended up having sex in my friend’s bathroom and sort of moved past it. It was like breakup sex for a relationship that never was.

I’m really happy he turned me down because It would have ruined a really good friendship. It’s been three years, and while we still love each other a lot, we’re not in love with each other. 

QUIZ: How Foolish Does Love Make You?

Insanely daft or relatively logical? Take this quiz.


Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this


Now on Zikoko

July 30, 2021

We know salary week is your favourite time of the month. But will that money get you through the month until the next paycheck comes in? Let’s see. 1. You get paid on the 25th of the month Why is this a problem? You will lose your guard. You too, stop and think about it: money […]

July 30, 2021

Like every other thing that comes from Nigeria, your international passport just wants to travel out, enjoy life and flex on the gram but you no get money. *insert clown emoji* So here is everything your international passport wants to say to you. It’s another frustrating day in Buhari’s country. Rain water has entered your […]

July 30, 2021

The subject of today’s Abroad life is a 35-year-old man who has lived many lives. He talks about being rejected three times by the US embassy, the bad state of the Nigerian education system, and how freelancing paid for his japa.  When did you decide that you wanted to leave Nigeria? I’d always passively wanted […]

Recommended Quizzes

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Timed Quizzes For […]

November 27, 2019

Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out: 11 Quizzes For People Who Aren’t […]

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

January 2, 2020

Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer. 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are Ready To Marry  Are you ready to marry? Take these quizzes.

More from Inside Life

July 29, 2021

Every Nigerian has at least one of these kinds of Uncles in their family 1) Mr I’d get back to you He’s the one that you ask for a favour and he always tells you he’d get back to you. The thing is, he never does. It’ll save everyone’s time and energy if he just […]

July 29, 2021

You know how Nigerian universities are, any small thing, “Oppression is Allowed!” To make matters worse, during the everlasting lockdown, many students were hustling to make money and it’s as if everybody has cashed out. So, if you don’t want oppression to kill you, here are some ways to disguise: 1. Get a piercing. If […]

black man covering his mouth
July 29, 2021

We don’t always mean to lie to our parents but sometimes, shit happens. They don’t exactly make being honest easy, either. Sometimes the lies are small and harmless, other times they are big and problematic. Here are eight lies we’ve all told our parents. 1. When we lie that we missed their call Sometimes, we […]

July 28, 2021

Making friends as an adult is a daunting task, and it oftentimes requires a certain level of patience. We’ve come up with a list of signs to look out for before choosing friends. 1. If they press the toothpaste from the middle. This set of people are so used to chaos, they make sure it […]

July 27, 2021

Not everyone gets to be the rich Nigerian aunty, some of us have to be the broke aunty to bring the balance. If you are reading this, you are probably in doubt of what type of aunty you are. There’s a high chance you are a broke Nigerian aunt, and here are some signs to […]

July 27, 2021

With Nigerian Aunties, it is one of two things. Either they make life soft or a living hell for you. There’s the one that is basically your elder sister and the one that is always in your business 24/7. Here are 8 types of Nigerian aunties. 1.The rich Nigerian aunty This type of Nigerian aunty is […]

July 26, 2021

If making money on your own has proved futile, then maybe it’s time to find money other people are not using urgently. Please, pay attention, these are multi-billion dollars tips. 1. Go to Agent Fash Seek out Agent Fashola for special tutorials in the art of finding ‘The Unseen.’ 2. Pray and fast If flesh […]


Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.