Ladies and gentlemen, the weekend.
As the singles plan out their weekend filled with K-dramas and yet another owambe, we’re here for the couples catching flights and feelings tonight. Yes, you over there with a bae, here are 13 things to spice up your weeken getaways.
Some of you have this relationship thing going on in your head and that’s not what we’re here for. I’m also talking to the people dating themselves. Okay? No bae, no trip.
How do you begin a journey without the anointing of God? Ahahah. That’s why your enemies are succeeding in your life. Try and be doing bible study and prayers so all will be well with you and your relationship, dears.
Try and help yourself. All that “Baby turn off the light” is format. Change your pant and boxers, dears. Don’t carry those underwears you’ve been wearing for the past five years.
Your own duvet and pillow
If your partner is a woman, you know all they know is wickedness, especially when they’re asleep. So for your sanity, carry your duvet or freeze to death, because she’ll hug everything.
Extra clothes for your partner
This is just in case your village people want to disgrace you through your partner’s horrible sense of style. Always be one step ahead of the game.
You have to be ready to show your parents that you’re on a godly trip. And if your partner’s parents call, do you want to greet your in-laws unprepared? It’s best you pack a broom to add to the aesthetics too.
Everything you own
Nigeria is in the trenches, so before you leave, please, pack everything and be prepared to never return. Note that you can stay back without your lover. If they can’t do long distance, then they’re the enemies your village people sent.
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A manicure set
Ladies, don’t allow that proposal catch you slacking. I urge you to be ready to slay at all times.
Money, lots of it
There’s nothing as important as having vex money in case your partner is moving mad during the trip. But there’s also the possibility of paying for an extra room in case you need to cheat.
Call it BDSM or whatever. But in case you need to flog sense into your partner, carry koboko with you.
An extra partner
Again, you need to be forward-thinking in case your partner messes up. You don’t need to spend extra money on this extra partner. All you have to do is prepare him to be your standby babe.
A photo of all your exes
Hear us out. Sometimes, you have to look back at where you’re coming from to appreciate where you’re going. Think about it.
The blood of Jesus
One or two drops, and you’re good to go. You must be protected from unexpected pregnancies at all times.
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