Though polyamory is getting more visibility in recent times, people still ask questions like, “Isn’t that just cheating?” Here, we dismantle six myths about polyamory you’ve probably heard before.
“You just want to have sex with multiple partners”
Well, yes but also, no because polyamory is not just about creating sexual connections. Many asexual people are polyamorous and only create and manage emotional and romantic connections in their lives. And even if a polyamorous person is only looking for sexual connections, it’s their business to mind, not yours.
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“It’s just cheating”
Polyamory is a type of ethical non-monogamy. The word “ethical” is important here because it requires the awareness and consent of all parties involved. If your partner doesn’t know you are seeing other people, you’re definitely cheating.
“Polyamorous people are just spreading diseases”
Sex with multiple partners without protection spreads infections whether it involves polyamorous people or not. However, according to a 2012 study that was published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, polyamorous people are more likely to practice safe sex than monogamous people.
“Polyamorous people only have threesomes, moresomes and orgies
This is such a wild idea because polyamorous people are really just regular people looking for love and affection like everyone else. So what if some people have threesomes, moresomes and orgies? It doesn’t change the presence of polyamorous people who don’t and definitely doesn’t affect you in any way.
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“You love everyone the same way”
Polyamory is different for different folks, depending on their abilities, capacities and preferences. Some people are able to maintain full triad relationships or kitchen-style polyamorous relationships (where everyone knows each other and is okay) while others simply can’t — and that’s okay too. The key point of polyamorous relationships is being able to hold affectionate relationships with more than one person. What matters is that everyone involved is aware and consents to be a part of it. The rest is up to you.
Absence of jealousy
Everybody experiences jealousy, whether in monogamous or polyamorous relationships — even within and out of a relationship. So, jealousy in polyamorous relationships is just as normal. It’s up to the person to communicate their feelings to their partners and do the work necessary to resolve it so it doesn’t fester and grow into bigger issues.
“You’re afraid of commitment”
Polyamorous people maintain multiple relationships with different people in different capacities. How then are they afraid of commitment?
Now that we’ve dismantled these myths, here’s a story about someone who lost the love of their life because they are polyamorous.