Aunty Z!: Love Na Marathon, No Be Sprint

November 28, 2021

Navigating life and relationships can get quite hard and we sometimes need someone to talk to. Meet Aunty Z! She gets it, she’s all ears and she just wants to help. For issues in all your relationships; friendships, situationships, and the other ships, you’ve come to the right place. Aunty Z! will see you now.

For this episode, Aunty Z! talks about healing from breakups, moving on, and how to evade a babalawo’s curse. 

Dear Aunty Z! 

There’s this friend I look up to . She’s been so cool and has really helped me improve myself. Recently, money was stolen from her room when I was there and now she’s giving me an attitude because she thinks it’s me. I didn’t take the money, but she keeps talking about bringing a babalawo into the matter. It’s not supposed to catch me because I didn’t do it, but I’m still scared. What should I do? 

Ola, 17, female

Dear Ola,

I think it’s time to add “spiritual consultant” to the list of things I do. First, you need the egg of a virgin tortoise, then palm oil from your village. Then on the night where the sun and the moon meet… I’m just messing with you. 

With my somewhat manageable knowledge of babalawo doings, they might ask you to swear. If you swear and you’re innocent, nothing will happen to you. However, I don’t think you should be doing any swearing and that “friend” is definitely not a person you should be around anymore. Surround yourself with people that trust you, and will believe you when you say you didn’t steal money. 

Love, Aunty Z!

Dear Aunty Z!, 

I’m not able to get over my toxic ex. I like someone right now but I can’t get into a relationship because I’m not over my ex. I’m dealing with trust issues and I’m recovering from manipulation and gaslighting.

Kiki, 18, female

Hey Kiki, 

So, getting over people is no easy task, but it can be done. I feel like you’re rushing trying to get over your ex because there’s someone else already present, but you have to take your time. Slow and steady because this love thing na marathon, no be sprint. 

One thing I recommend is asking yourself the difficult questions. You can journal or record some of the things your ex did to you, and reevaluate the entire relationship. Then in situations where you feel it’s absolutely necessary to get clarity, you need to do it from a safe distance. Many sisters —myself included—  have fallen for the trap of going to get closure and ending up naked on the bed. Shine ya eye. 

You can also try crying and screaming lyrics to heartbreak songs with your friends. There’s no one way to recover from a breakup, but just make sure it’s a healthy way that allows for you to process the emotions you feel. Lastly, teach yourself to notice signs of manipulation and gaslighting so that if it happens again, you dip early and save yourself a lot of heartache.

Love, Aunty Z!

Aunty Z! will be published every Sunday at 2 pm but you can write to her here and she may just give you the advice that changes your entire life!  

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