Your Twitter TL Isn’t Complete if You Don’t Have These People on It

November 3, 2022

Twitter is not very different from many markets in Nigeria. Everyone is allowed to enter, and if you hang around long enough, you’ll stop getting shocked at the crazy things your two koro koro eyes are witnessing. 

We made a list of all the people you’ll find on your Twitter timeline (TL) if you’re doing Twitter right. 


These are very intelligent women who do everything in their power to advocate for gender equality in all walks of life. I love them and support everything they do. All power to them forever and ever. Amen.

Alpha males

As a man, you should never be caught using an umbrella. Show your dominance and tell the rain, “If you touch me, I will slap you.” Be a man.”

People who get upset at everything

Maybe it’s just them. 

People who must always have opposing views

These ones wait for everyone to form an opinion before coming out to say the exact opposite (and full of bbuzzwords, don’t forget) just to feel intelligent Like Ololade mi Asake said, “Some of us are wise, every other person overwise.”


There’s always someone proclaiming their love for Christ or their favourite person of God on the TL. You’ll also see someone come online to share a testimony of a miracle God did for them. 

People who’re always ready to drag Christians

Once these ones hear “Jesus” like this, they’re ready to drag whoever mentioned his name. “Oh, so Jesus saved you from death? Why didn’t he save all the other people who die every day???”

Relationship people

You’re scrolling Twitter on your own, looking for something to take your mind off the breakup text you just received. Next thing you know, you see a picture of people celebrating their 12th-year anniversary with before and after pictures, and you begin to wonder if you’re actually a real human being or a potato. 

BBNaija stans

My personal least favourite people on Twitter. Why are you fighting over random people in a house who you only knew existed three weeks ago? Why?

Football people

Arguably the funniest people on the platform but also the most unhinged. Leave them to their banter, and you’ll be fine. If you, a non-football person, try to attack their club or favourite players, anything you receive, take it like that. 

People that ask the weirdest questions

“Don’t lie, is  ₦1.8m enough as a salary for a married man who has two children, two side chicks, lives on Lagos Island, works in Mowe and is processing his Canada japa?

Follow me, I post only bangers.”

Thirst trap people

Oh, you don’t know about them? Just open your Twitter by 1 a.m. and search “TL sleep?” or at the end of the month and search “*Month* Dump”. The things your eyes will see. 


I’ve not been to the hospital in years because I get all my unsolocited medical advice from Twitter doctors. Thanks guys.

Comrade and vawulence people

They’re like cockroaches. They’re not exactly on the surface (TL) for you to see. But once you open the cupboards (replies), you’ll see them in their numbers swarming everywhere. They even bring drinks and chairs for people who want to be comfortable to witness the “vawulence”. 

BTS and K-drama stans

I can’t say anything about these people because I don’t want anybody to cyberbully me. I love BTS people, please. 

Follow for follow people

“Ifb”, “No Twitter user should have less than 8k followers.” Let’s start a follow-for-follow thread. Follow everyone who likes this tweet. I’ll follow everyone back too.” In this big 2023. SMH.

Abroad people disguising like they’re in Nigeria

It’s them that’ll first complain about the potholes on Ring Road, Benin, and the UNILAG sun. Check their location, it’s Winnipeg. 

UI/UX Design Twitter

These ones are always “playing around” on Figma and “mistakenly” coming up with well-thought-out product designs. 

Tech bros and babes earning in fx

“Oh look at me everyone, I have money. Yen yen yen.” If you don’t gerrout. 

God, please do my own too IJN. 


Twitter is an office for these ones. Do they really use the products they’re talking about, or are they being paid? It’s never really difficult to tell, don’t worry. 

Banger boys and girls

They’ll steady drop funny or quirky tweets that do numbers. Once they start, they can never stop trying. There have been rumours that many of them have group chats with like-minded individuals who “boost” their tweets. Me, I don’t care. As long as the tweets are funny, I’ll like them. Except, some of them get carried away and start talking rubbish.

QUIZ: What Type Of Nigerian Twitter User Are You?

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

October 29, 2019

PyschoYP — “No Chaser” ft. Terri The gifted and frustratingly underrated rapper, PsychoYP is gearing up to drop a new body of work, YPSZN 2, and in a bid to get us hyped for its impending release, he’s come through with three new tracks, “City of Kings”, “ELEVATE” and “No Chaser”. While all the songs […]


Now on Zikoko

December 1, 2022

On November 30, 2022, the Federal Government absolved itself of total blame concerning poverty in Nigeria. The Minister of State for Budget and National Planning, Clement Agba, shifted some of the blame to governors of the 36 states. The minister said the governors should stop spending borrowed money on unnecessary projects and spend on projects […]

Recommended Quizzes

January 2, 2020

Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer. 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are Ready To Marry  Are you ready to marry? Take these quizzes.

November 25, 2019

We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

October 10, 2019

2019 is certainly Burna Boy’s year, but, if we are being honest, so was 2018. Since his transcendent mixtape, Outside, the afro-fusion star has refused to get his foot of our necks — dropping a string of fantastic singles and then capping it all off with his career-best album, African Giant.  So, in a bid […]

November 20, 2019

Last month, we thoughtfully made a quiz telling you guys exactly when you’ll marry, but some of you claimed that your spouse was nowhere to be found. Well, now we’ve created one that’ll tell you exactly who you’ll be dragging down that aisle. Take and start planning that wedding: 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are […]

More from Pop


Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.