What if Nigerian Musicians Were Your Secondary School Classmates?

November 19, 2022

Imagine you were graduating from the Class of 2022 and this was your yearbook. These are your classmates and their personalities. Did we lie?

Lady Donli

You know that child who just sits in the corner, minds their business and draws in their sketchbook? That’s Zainab. She’s troublesome and loud o, but only around her close friends. And nobody disrespects her because she’s mysterious. 

Also, when you open her sketchbook, you see she’s a brilliant artist, but what she draws will have you wash your eyes with holy water. 

Tiwa Savage

She’s the hot babe of the class. Your smelling class boys don’t even try moving to her. It’s only senior boys she rolls with. Her uniform? Always pristine. 

Portable

The tout of the class. His uniform is always torn from one fight or another. He has lapalapa on his head. Teachers don’t bother ensuring he understands what they’re saying. They already know he can never make it. 

YKB

He knows how to get along with teachers while being a bad boy, so everyone likes him. He’s also really intelligent, so nobody can actually fault him for anything. Oh, and his swag levels? Out of this world. 

*Enters advertising mode* Yusuf baby is going to rock Z! Fest on Saturday, and you better join us to lose our voices screaming “Alabama, sheybe leti j’amala!”

Burna Boy

His parents are rich, and he used to school abroad, but he’s back in Nigeria as a punishment. Now, he’s the class snub who only talks to the other rich kids. Every other person is smelling, and he can’t stand Portable. 

Dwin the Stoic

He’s won all the talent shows since JSS 1 because he knows how to sing and makes it his entire personality. Swag? Zero. Babes? They’ve all friendzoned him. But at least, he can sing.

*Switches to advertising mode* Dwin the Stoic will be serenading us at Z! Fest on Saturday. We’ve tried, but we actually can’t wait. Get your ticketss!

Tope Alabi

She has scribbled “Give your life to Christ” on her desk. She’s the chapel prefect who leads the assembly in praise and worship every morning. She sits in front and answers questions like it’s a competition. She has never gotten anything less than an A in CRK. She’s also the only one in your set who didn’t slim-fit her uniform. 

Ayra Starr

Social prefect. She brings the vibes on vibes, literally. Never a single dull moment with her.

*Switches to advertising mode again* She’ll also bring the vibes on vibes to Z! Fest this Saturday, so get your tickets here then come and watch Ayra shut down the show!

Teni

She’s a bully. Not only to juniors o; even the boys in her class fear her. She sits at the back of the class always. And she brings her phone to school.

Rema

All Rema wants to do is attend English class because he’s in love with the teacher. If you know, you know. 


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