We Judged the Valentine’s Songs You Guys Are Listening to

February 14, 2022

Every holiday is stressful, but you see Valentine’s Day? That one is another level of wahala, and it’s not even an official holiday. From saxophonists and dispatch riders running helter skelter to single people pretending not to care that they’re booless, it’s always dramatic as hell. With music being the one thing that unites all of us — single, taken or betrothed — through the chaos and stress, we collaborated with TurnTable Charts to compile a list of the songs topping the charts this Valentine’s season. Looking at data from streaming and radio, these are the songs everyone is vibing to in the name of the Valentine spirit. 

14. Aye — Davido 

Before Davido fell and found assurance, he reminded us that love doesn’t cost a thing when he dropped Aye in 2014. With artists dropping back to back bops that year, Aye had us in a major chokehold, especially when we remember the music video that felt like a scene from Super Story. This song is also a reminder that Davido has been seeing things in women’s eyes for a long time — first it was love, and now it’s waists. Interesting. 

Standout lyric: “She no want designer. She no want Ferari. She say na my love o.”

Please, where can we find a love like this in these Buhari times? Boda David, show us the way. 

13. Baby Jowo — Victor Uwaifo

We know people throw the word “iconic” around a lot these days, but Baby Jowo is actually super iconic. Over 30 years later and this song is still popping, either in its original form or the remix featuring 2Face Idibia. The fact that people are streaming it shows that it’s not only millennials and Gen Zs that love to celebrate Valentine’s Day, mummy and daddy do usually do love too, dears. 

Standout lyric: “Ko wa fife tutu s’aya mi o.”

Hot love is good, but you see cold love? Much better mehn. 

12. If Love is a Crime — 2Face Idibia 

We can’t believe 2Face Idibia really sat down in 2006 to write a song about his willingness to be hunted down like bush meat in the name of love. We love love over here, but for us, that’s a little extreme. But isn’t that what love is about? Doing whatever it takes to prove how much someone means to you? Even though we can’t relate to most of these things because we don’t like to be stressed, there’s no denying that 2Face Idibia was in his premium lover boy bag when he dropped this jam. 

Standout line: “Girl, if love is a crime then I’m willing to be wanted”.

Honestly, this is the energy we’re looking for in 2022. 

11. Kuchi Kuchi — J’odie

Couples would probably hate us for saying this, but Valentine’s Day is not just about you and your annoying teddy bears and flowers, it’s for everybody. As much as the world has turned this season into a lover’s thing, the truth is, Valentine is a time for everyone to love and be loved. Jodie’s Kuchi Kuchi is a good example of the variety of love we can express this season as it talks about a mother’s love for her child. 

Standout line: “You make me cry. Laughter is not enough. I’ve seen true beauty because I see you.” 

Cue the tears. Awwwwwww.

10. Smile for Me — Simi 

If there’s one thing we’ve learnt from listening to Simi’s music, it’s that this babe is always all in. From Tiff to Duduke, Simi doesn’t play when it comes to this love thing. On Smile for Me, we find her convincing her lover to take risk and succeed. Heartbreak is possible, but there’s also premium enjoyment involved. 

Standout lyric: “I want to be the one wey you fit die for.”

Die? Simi, dear, love is great but let’s be calming down. 

9. Melo Melo — Olamide 

Olamide is hands down one of the most versatile acts on the Nigerian scene. Since dropping Eni Duro, the hitmaker has been consistent year after year with almost ten albums to his name. Although Olamide rarely puts out lovey dovey songs, Melo Melo is that one song on the rapper’s discography that really gets us in our feels. Do we understand half of the proverbs he’s using to declare his love? No. But that doesn’t make the song any less romantic to us. 

Standout lyric: “I know I make some mistakes, but I don dey regret. Now I no go forget to cherish wetin we get.”

If you’ve ever dated a Nigerian man, you should be used to lines like this by now. 

8. African Queen — 2Face Idibia 

If we were ever invaded by aliens and they asked us for a playlist of the best Nigerian songs, this song would be on that list. But don’t worry, according to Hollywood, aliens don’t come to Africa, so we’re safe. This is definitely 2Face’s most popular song and rightfully so, because we’re convinced he put something in it. It’s been almost 20 years since he dropped it and we still feel butterflies in our bellies every time it comes up. This love thing sha. 

Standout lyric: “I’ll give you my heart, my love, my body and my money”. 

2Face, all of this is great, but we still want teddy bears and chocolate. 

7. What’s Love Got to Do With It — Tina Turner

Omo, it’s looking like Tina Turner was doing this Blaqbonez love-antagonising thing long before he owned it. Like Ms. Tina said back in 1984, sometimes, love doesn’t pay. Just enjoy yourself and go. If you don’t involve your heart, the chances of eating breakfast or ending up in disgrace or with hot tears are pretty slim. 

Standout lyric: “Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?”

Where’s the lie? But will the heart hear word? No. 

6. The Way You Make Me Feel — Michael Jackson 

It’s Michael Jackson. Do we need to say more? Okay: It’s Michael Jackson. 

Standout lyric: “Hey pretty baby with the high heels on”

If you like ballet flats or sneakers, just know that you were not MJ’s type.

5. E Be Like Say — 2Face Idibia 

We know elections are coming soon, but it looks like some of you are mistaking February 2022 for February 2023 because this song clearly talks about politics. Then again, as we said before, Valentine’s Day is not just for romantic love. Maybe some of you just really love Nigeria and we can’t stop you from celebrating that love as well. Good luck!

Standout Lyric: “Another year has come, and now you want my trust once more.” 

Ahh 2Face, they didn’t even wait for 2023 — the lies have already started. 

4. Yes/No — Banky W

Are we the only ones who picture Adesua every time we listen to a Banky love song now? Even if the video has a different video vixen, a part of us just sees Mr and Mrs W. God, when abeg? After carrying our singlehood to Shiloh, we’ve decided to stream this song consistently as a way of ministering into our non-existent relationships as we anticipate a yes from above. 

Standout Lyric: “Tired of running around no delay. Make you no go look Uche face” 

Makes you wonder, who is this Uche Nigerian musicians always sing about?  

3. Tonight — Nonso Amadi

There’s something about this song that makes us want to open a bottle of wine, dim the lights, eat dinner by candlelight and just have some much-needed romance time. With this description, it comes as no surprise that everyone else has been streaming this song to get in the mood for Valentine. Can you really blame us? Nonso Amadi knew what he was doing when he recorded this song and he didn’t come to play at all. 

Standout lyric: “My girl, she got a gun in her hand. And she got one at her man”. 

We don’t support violence here. More love, less guns please. 

2. Joromi — Simi 

We love a woman that shoots her shots. In this song, we find Simi shooting her shot at Joromi who probably just wants to drink Mojito and go home. To be fair, it’s Folabi we should all blame for telling Simi lies in the first place. Did Simi’s gragra work? Well, according to the video, it did. Therefore, we encourage you on this day of love to go forth and shoot your shot. If it fails sha, please collect your L and buy ice cream. 

Standout lyric: “I dey give you signal. Why you no day see me ah?” 

As much as we love Simi’s enthusiasm, it’s important to free that person once in a while. You’re a happening babe abeg. 

1. Shape of You — Ed Sheeran

Fun fact: So Ed Sheehan wrote this song for Rihanna, but our good sis said no. Ed went on to sing this song and since it dropped, we’ve not known peace. It’s like the All I Want for Christmas on Valentine’s Day and honestly, we’re not mad at it. 

Standout lyric: “The club isn’t the best place to find a lover so the bar is where I go”.

Really Ed, the bar? Why not use that app where people do usually swindle in the name of romance? 

Single people, you think we don’t know you guys are the ones listening to all these songs? Nice one dears. Since couples are busy coupling, it’s only fair that you keep busy as well. Your turn is coming, have faith.

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