Nigerians Would Totally Survive Jordan Peele’s “Nope”, Let’s Explain

September 7, 2022

Everyone is talking about Jordan Peele’s newest horror movie, Nope, and I totally get it. It follows two siblings, Emerald (Keke Palmer) and OJ (Daniel Kaluuya), as they attempt to take and sell pictures of an alien (who they nickname Jean Jacket) terrorising their home. The two-hour movie had me on the edge of my seat throughout its duration. 

But as enjoyable as Nope was, it also had me thinking, what would it look like if Nigerians had to deal with an alien attack?  

Aliens won’t visit Nigeria because of the heat and mosquitoes 

There’s a reason all these Hollywood films about aliens and unidentified flying objects (UFOs) happen only in America and the United Kingdom (UK). We complain a lot about the heat and mosquitoes in Nigeria, but when you think about it, it’s the main reason aliens don’t come here. Imagine an alien walking into a pharmacy to buy Amartem after one night in Nigeria. 

Nigerians would’ve covered the house in anointing oil 

Aliens wouldn’t be tormenting Emerald and OJ if they were a prayerful family. I’m just stating the obvious. Nigerians don’t play with demons. One sighting and the Goya oil from Shiloh is coming out! Goodbye to principalities and powers from outer space. 

RECOMMENDED: 6 Types of People at Prayer Sessions in Nigerian Churches

Nigerians don’t live in secluded places 

I’m always confused when I watch Hollywood movies with people living in an isolated area in the forest or on a ranch. What happens when you want to borrow jerry can to buy fuel? Nigerians don’t do that “living away from the city” business. We like to live where we can see other people, even if their generator is too loud

Nigerians will NEVER risk their lives for animals 

After the first major attack, Emerald asks OJ to leave the ranch with her, but this man refuses because he wants to look after their family horses. Horses? I have to laugh. Imagine a Nigerian seeing danger and choosing to stay because they want to look after animals. It’s not in our blood. 

Nigerians like money, but we love life more 

Even though it’s clear the alien in the sky is dangerous, Emerald and OJ decide to record it for Oprah so they can cash out. Good money, yes. But at what cost? I don’t see any Nigerian risking their life just to end up on Instablog — ah well, in this day and age you can never be too sure sha. 

Nigerians would’ve moved out after the first sighting of Jean Jacket 

Do you want to tell me that Nigerians who run just because they see other people running will choose to stay in a house after noticing something strange in the clouds? Nah, we don’t roll like that over here. 

Nigerians don’t go to shows without knowing who’s performing 

The scene where people attend a “live experience” and get eaten by the alien is funny to me. These people pulled up to a show they knew nothing about, just vibes and cowboy merch. No wonder Jean Jacket ate them all up like guguru and groundnut. 

ALSO READ: Encanto is a Nigerian Story, Let’s Explain

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

March 30, 2020

BOJ — “Assignment” BOJ has a reputation for being one of the most impressive featured acts in the game, consistently stealing the show with his inimitable voice and impossible-to-forget hooks. That being said, he doesn’t get nearly enough credit for what he’s able to accomplish on a solo track. Thankfully, he’s here to remind us […]

February 26, 2020

Dadju — “Donne moi l’accord” ft. Burna Boy Late last year, French singer, Dadju dropped his second solo album, Poison Ou Antidote, which included guest work from three of Nigeria’s biggest stars, Davido, Wizkid and Burna Boy. Now, following the success of the album, Dadju has dropped a music video for the Burna Boy-assisted standout, […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

June 14, 2020

Have you ever been with someone so horrible that you swore to never date again? Yes? Well, do you know that one or more of your exes probably feels the same way about you? You never thought about that, huh? Thankfully, this quiz is here to let you know just how much of a hassle […]

More from Pop

September 23, 2022

We know some of these plots happen in real life, but we’re tired of seeing them in Nollywood movies. At this point, once you see some signs, it becomes very easy to predict how the movie would end. Please, what happened to suspense in our movies?

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X