Most of us have had our fair share of really horrible neighbors. From being messy and untidy to sticking their noses in places their noses have no place being in, horrible neighbors are just the worst. So I asked seven Nigerians about the very worst neighbor they’ve ever had and their answers are truly fascinating.
I used to live in this apartment block, it was like six apartments fenced together, and we had regular power supply but my neighbours loved turning on their generators. We would have power all day and around 3a.m, it’d go. You’d immediately hear my neighbours open their door to turn on their generator. Do you know the worst part? Their generator was downstairs, close to my bedroom window. It was so annoying because they were quick with turning on the generator but turning it off. I had to start turning it off myself.
My worst neighbours were a group of young boys. They tended to host parties a lot, smoked a lot and always had guests. In an ideal world, I wouldn’t mind because do whatever you want but this is Nigeria and I was the only other young man in the compound. I was always anxious about the police coming and me being arrested because they think I’m with them. One day, when I was travelling I heard that policemen came to the compound and the place was smelling of marijuana and alcohol and the police arrested all the boys on the street. When I returned, I packed some of my clothes and went to a friend’s place. A few weeks later, I moved out. God forbid.
So for the longest time, I had the best luck with neighbours, everyone had sense and knew how to mind their business. Then this guy moved to an apartment close to mine and decided to just be stupid in astounding ways. He stays in the apartment above mine and the people in his house would sweep his dirt to my front, he would wash his car which for some reason he parks in front of my house and the water would just pool there with all the dirt he drove in with and do you know what’s worse? I think he moved in with his whole external family. There are always people moving, at all hours of the day you’ll hear sounds of people pounding. With all the people in his house, no one has ever taken a broom to sweep the dirt he leaves in the front of my house.
After uni, I moved into a new apartment as per freedom. There was a woman in the compound I moved to that knew my mother, they weren’t friends or anything. She just knew her at some point. Anyways, this woman turned into a monitoring demon. If I came back late, she’ll ask why I’m coming back by this time. If a friend – a female friend – spends the night, she’ll tell me it’s not good for a woman to be having friends like that. When I got really mad was when a male friend came over and a few hours later, my mum called and asked why I was carrying men up and down and turning my house into a brothel. After I explained to my mother, my mum told me to be careful of that woman because the story the woman told her and what I told her is very different. I went up to the woman and warned her that in this life and the next, she should never try it again unless she wants to see madness.
My worst neighbour is a girl I shared a hostel with back in uni. The babe minded her business and I did the same. Until I started noticing that some of my clothes were missing, I can’t just accuse someone of stealing so I tried to search for my things but I didn’t see them. I just thought maybe I misplaced them myself or someone stole it when I hung it out. A few weeks later, I was gossiping with my friend and they sent me my neighbours Instagram account. That’s when I saw a video of her where she was wearing a top that belonged to me and a post of her with a bag that was also mine. I tried to confront her and omo, it turned into a shouting match. At the end of the day, I had to move out, she was branded a thief and I didn’t get back my items.
We had a neighbour who told my brother, who is homophobic, that I was bringing bad boys to the house. And seeing I’m openly gay to my family. He concluded I was bringing queer men to the house to hook up with, which triggered him kicking me out of his house. Before this, she told my brother that his girlfriend crashed his car, which she did but was fixing before he came back. She made him leave work to come and check on her safety and expected him to come home and quarrel with his girlfriend.
Mine is more of an emotional thing. My neighbour and I were very close. We even visited my family home together often. Then one day, my sister called me and told me that she thinks her husband is sleeping with her. I was so confused. We turned into detectives and lo and behold, we were right. I don’t think I had ever felt more betrayed since that thing happened. It was awful.