Yoruba Nollywood is improving and we appreciate them for it, but some things still need extra work. We made a list of them. If watching Yoruba films stress you out, you will probably relate to this list.
If you know anyone who works in the Yoruba film industry, please share this with them. We need to see change.
1. The housewives are always wearing high heels in the house.
This has never made sense to me. How can you wake up in the morning, and you have on a full face-beat coupled with high heels, only to sit down at home to watch TV? Leg no dey pain you? Yoruba Nollywood needs to create a world where their housewives walk around in hair bonnet and slippers, please. That one is more believable.
2. The husbands are always working in the office.
But what exactly are they doing? Nobody has an idea. We just know they wake up, carry briefcase and go to the “office.” And when evening comes, they return home from the office. Most times, the point of the office is for adultery. Which begs the question, do they work in the office of adultery?
3. They are always winning contracts.
“Sweetheart, I won that 100 million naira contract!” Okay, we are happy for you. But contract to do what? To build the 4th Mainland Bridge or what? If you want to get rich in a Yoruba film, just win a contract. Suddenly, you are living in a duplex, your wife has bleached and turned yellow and she is wearing high heels and bridal make-up at 8am in the morning to sit at home all day. You go fear contract.
4. The wives always prepare their husband’s favourite dish.
Favourite dish don suffer. Every time the husband returns from work, his wife comes to welcome him in her high heels and bridal make-up. She first loosens his tie, then tells him she has run his bathwater and prepared his favourite dish. I want to know, is it every time she cooks his favourite dish? Or does he have more than one favourite dish? And what happens on the day she does not cook this favourite dish? And last but not the least, why is this favourite dish white rice and stew???
5. Wearing make-up to bed.
I don’t know what universe Yoruba films exist in, but if you wake up the actresses in the middle of the night, you will find them popping. They can even enter a nightclub with the make-up on their face. They just need to carry handbags and wear a shiny gown and they are good to go.
6. The women don’t work.
I have been complaining about the heels all day, but it is important to note that the women in Yoruba films don’t work. They just set the breakfast table like they are throwing a party and the husband won’t eat because he’s in a hurry. What is sapa? It doesn’t exist in Yoruba Nollywood.
7. Yes, they have women who work.
But those ones are usually portrayed as the bad wives. Ehen nau, how dare you have a job and be a good wife in Yoruba Nollywood? E no dey work that way. That is why the working women in Yoruba Nollywood are the bad ones. I don’t know if their scriptwriters have caught on feminism yet, but I won’t be surprised if there’s a Yoruba film where the wife is a feminist who works and who, because of her feminism and job, is a bad wife. If that movie exists, point me to it.
8. They always call millions and millions.
It’s only in Yoruba films that a child will collect one million naira pocket money for school. Haba. Is it that easy? Sugar Daddy will carry a babe, next thing, he’s dashing her five million naira, for sex that happened under the bed sheet? Sex that the sugar daddy’s singlet is still on? Okay oh. Keep lying. How much is the film’s budget that someone will be collecting five million naira for sex? Yoruba Nollywood, please dears.