Fifteen Things You Must Budget For If You Live In Nigeria

November 6, 2018
If you are a part of the very small percentage of Nigerian adults who have their lives put together enough to make budgets, we have a thing or two to tell you. While you might think that you’ve covered all your bases. You’ve made a budget for food, transport even Friday night faji, there are a couple of key things you are leaving out of your budget that could ruin your finances.

The second cloth you have to buy after your tailor takes the aso-ebi you bought for a wedding and travelled with it.

Please, when are we going to come together as a people and boycott Nigerian tailors?

The extra tyre you need to buy after that deep pothole on your street finally tears your tyre.

And the second one you’ll buy after the same pothole tears the new one.

If you thought you’ll need only 10k fuel for the month double it, because the transformer on your street will blow and you won’t have light for three months.

And you’ll still contribute for NEPA people to come and fix the transformer.

Drugs for malaria you only got because your street has been flooded for the past two weeks.

By the time you get your hospital bill, you’ll wish you just stayed home and prayed the malaria away.

The third and fourth internet subscriptions you have to pay for because the first two start moving mad.

Then you go back to the first two when the third and fourth one starts misbehaving too.

The funny sound your generator starts making even though you only serviced it last week.

You’ll think it just needs to be serviced again until your gen guy tells you, you need to replace the carburetor.

When someone steals wires from the NEPA pole on your street and you have to contribute to pay for it.

You also have to settle the NEPA guys who will come and fix it.

The new phone you have to buy because they obtained your old one in traffic.

Shebi if the traffic was moving the thief won’t have seen road to collect your phone.

When your rent is due on January 1st and your landlord tells you on the 31st that he’s increasing the rent.

After you’ve used all your extra money for December rocks.

Getting that message from your younger brother, sister asking for money.

Me sef I need epp.

The borehole in your compound just suddenly stops working because the last plumber to fix it used fake parts.

And you just fixed it last month,

All the people you have to settle just so you don’t die on the line collecting things like your driver’s license or passport.

And they’ll still ask anything for the boys after you’ve settled them.

Settling police so they can release your friend they carried for no reason.

They said because he was using an iPhone he must be a yahoo boy.

The side mirror of your car you have to replace because one danfo guy trying to overtake you hit it.

After hitting it he started rolling on the floor using God to beg you.

Having to replace the compressor of your freezer because NEPA blew it.

And the surge protector you bought was fake.

NEPA bringing a 90k bill for you even though they only gave you light twice that month.

If you don’t have a prepaid meter go and get one now.

Did we leave anyone out?

Toketemu Ohwovoriole

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