If you are a part of the very small percentage of Nigerian adults who have their lives put together enough to make budgets, we have a thing or two to tell you. While you might think that you’ve covered all your bases. You’ve made a budget for food, transport even Friday night faji, there are a couple of key things you are leaving out of your budget that could ruin your finances.
The second cloth you have to buy after your tailor takes the aso-ebi you bought for a wedding and travelled with it.
Please, when are we going to come together as a people and boycott Nigerian tailors?
The extra tyre you need to buy after that deep pothole on your street finally tears your tyre.
And the second one you’ll buy after the same pothole tears the new one.
If you thought you’ll need only 10k fuel for the month double it, because the transformer on your street will blow and you won’t have light for three months.
And you’ll still contribute for NEPA people to come and fix the transformer.
Drugs for malaria you only got because your street has been flooded for the past two weeks.
By the time you get your hospital bill, you’ll wish you just stayed home and prayed the malaria away.
The third and fourth internet subscriptions you have to pay for because the first two start moving mad.
Then you go back to the first two when the third and fourth one starts misbehaving too.
The funny sound your generator starts making even though you only serviced it last week.
You’ll think it just needs to be serviced again until your gen guy tells you, you need to replace the carburetor.
When someone steals wires from the NEPA pole on your street and you have to contribute to pay for it.
You also have to settle the NEPA guys who will come and fix it.
The new phone you have to buy because they obtained your old one in traffic.
Shebi if the traffic was moving the thief won’t have seen road to collect your phone.
When your rent is due on January 1st and your landlord tells you on the 31st that he’s increasing the rent.
After you’ve used all your extra money for December rocks.
Getting that message from your younger brother, sister asking for money.
Me sef I need epp.
The borehole in your compound just suddenly stops working because the last plumber to fix it used fake parts.
And you just fixed it last month,
All the people you have to settle just so you don’t die on the line collecting things like your driver’s license or passport.
And they’ll still ask anything for the boys after you’ve settled them.
Settling police so they can release your friend they carried for no reason.
They said because he was using an iPhone he must be a yahoo boy.
The side mirror of your car you have to replace because one danfo guy trying to overtake you hit it.
After hitting it he started rolling on the floor using God to beg you.
Having to replace the compressor of your freezer because NEPA blew it.
And the surge protector you bought was fake.
NEPA bringing a 90k bill for you even though they only gave you light twice that month.
If you don’t have a prepaid meter go and get one now.
If there’s one book every Nigerian child read, then it would be My Book of Bible Stories. That book satisfied our need for colourful pictures, as well as our desire to be told a story. It was vividly illustrated, and it’s perhaps safe to say that every child who read it wanted to be inside […]
People in relationships have all the fun they said, people in relationships never get bored they said. Well here’s 11 “but’s” to that statement. 1. When they leave you unread on Whatsapp and you log on to Twitter to see them tweeting and retweeting Wizkid vs Davido bants. I thought I meant the world to […]
Nigerian photographers are definitely on the list of the most annoyed Nigerian demographic. Chances are you are probably guilty of at least one thing on this list. Read the list before you deny it. 1. “I know someone who can do it for cheaper price”. Then why are we here, please? You brought me all the […]
Are you an ajebutter or not? Well, if you’ve gone through life blissfully unaware of its harshness, then you probably are. Now, we want to know just how high you rank on that ajebutter scale, using your food preferences as a (very accurate) measure. Take to find out:
Did your parents give you enough beans when you were growing up? If they did, then you’re probably around 6’0″ and above. Either way, we created a quiz that can guess your current height (pretty accurately, if we do say so ourselves). Take to see if we nailed it:
Are you a professional Yoruba demon? Are you walking around in search of whose life you can wreck at any given time? Well, this quiz knows exactly how many hearts you’ve shattered to date, and before you lie that your result is inaccurate, just remember that Zikoko is never wrong. Now, take it and be […]
We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already.
Last week, we guessed how many people you’d slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:
It can be very stressful when you’re trying to find the love of your life, but you only keep meeting people that are exactly like your yeye ex. To help you be more aware of that problem, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know the kind of people you are attracting. Take it to […]
“A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week. The subject of today’s A Week In The Life is Blaq Bonez. A […]
Creative/kriːˈeɪtɪv/adjective. relating to or involving the use of the imagination or original ideas to create something. nounINFORMAL a person whose job involves creative work. Creative is a broad term that covers a wide variety of things. Basically, anyone who brings an original idea to live, regardless of medium, qualifies as a creative. I gathered a […]
“A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week. Today’s subject is Amope, a Nigerian woman who sells sex toys. She walks […]
“How do I even calculate this Zakat?” If this sounds like you, you are in a safe space among friends. Welcome. First, the basics. Zakat is one of the pillars of Islam. It simply means you donate a percentage of your yearly income to those in need. No long stories. There are many spiritual benefits […]
“A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week. The subject for this week is *Kunle, a firefighter. He walks us through […]
With the shutdown of the holy city and the uncertainty of this year’s Ramadan, we spoke to three Muslim health workers. They tell us about juggling Ramadan with working on the frontline. A Special Kind Of Ramadan. Aminat (Nurse) Ramadan hasn’t been very hard. The only difference is that I don’t get to eat what […]
If you’ve ever taken an online course, then you know how hard it can be. And this is you as an adult who knows the importance of these things, let alone a child who just wants to watch Nickelodeon in peace. Curious about how learning has been outside a classroom, I asked Nigerian teachers how […]
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.
Nigerians Talk is what happened when a motley crew of young Nigerians were put in front of a camera and asked a bunch of apparently random questions about life, love, money and more.
For the second season, we put an even more diverse motley crew of young Nigerians in front of a camera and asked them random questions about love, school experiences and more.
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.
Nigerians Talk is what happened when a motley crew of young Nigerians were put in front of a camera and asked a bunch of apparently random questions about life, love, money and more.
Zikoko quizzes have been a seriously massive hit since we launched them. So, we decided to compile a list of the most popular ones to date, in case you missed any of them the first time around or just want to give some another go. Here are 11 of them, ranked accordingly: 1. Do You […]
A few weeks ago, we created a quiz that accurately graded your sex life. Now, we want to see what grade your love life deserves. Have you had a lot of meaningful relationships (a coveted A) or have you been saddled with a bunch of shitty ones (a disappointing F)? Take to find out:
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