Develop an accent

Your Nigerian accent is too razz for the level of wealth you’re trying to project. You need to develop an accent, preferably British, to give off enough old-money energy.

Wear a boubou/kaftan everywhere

This needs to become your uniform. Inside, outside, everywhere you go. Also, make sure you always have dark shades on to stay mysterious.

Image credit: Afrikrea

“Do you know who I am?”

It’s important to respond to every random situation with this question because people do, in fact, need to know who you are — a rich Nigerian.

Carry a portable fan everywhere

Heat might be killing everyone else in the country but certainly not you. You’re rich, so of course, you can’t be suffering like a common man. To make your statement even clearer, use one of those uncommon designs.

Also, use a cab service to go everywhere

You can never catch a rich man sweating inside a danfo. So why would you be taking public transportation? No, that’s off-brand.

Invest all your money in perfumes

You need to have all your bases covered, and one way to do that is by smelling expensive.

Or spend it all on skin and self-care

Sunburn is for the poor, my dear. It also doesn’t matter that you’ll be spending twice your monthly income on a new wig. Self-care is important, and your account balance shouldn’t get in the way of it.

And expensive designer items

Made in Aba or gotten off AliExpress; designer items are designer items. As long as they didn’t write Cavlin Rlein on that shirt, buy it.

Have like one million debit cards

It doesn’t matter if your entire net worth is ₦‎5k. Having many debit cards is a signal to people paying attention that your money is long.

Your car key must always be in your hands

It doesn’t matter that you have a pocket or keychain to hang it on. Have people seen your Benz that’s not really your Benz? That’s the main question, and it’s why your car key needs to be in your hands at all times. In fact, jiggle it to catch even more attention.

Burn all your savings on club memberships

Lagos Polo Club? Ikoyi Club? Join them all. Don’t mind the huge membership fees because it’s all an investment. By the time you start rubbing shoulders with actual rich people, your cosplay is complete. What’s remaining after that?

NEXT READ: 8 Ways To Manifest Wealth


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