Earning in dollars is the new rave, but this can take longer than you want. Have you ever wondered if it’s possible to make $1000 before the week runs out? Well, it is, and Zikoko is here with answers for you.
Change your naira to Zimbabwean Dollars
You can just change your naira to Zimbabwean dollars, and it’s “mission accomplished” already. It’s still dollars anyway, no? Not everytime USD. Sometimes, support Africa.
Get a glucose guardian
It’s not even hard to do this. Just find a much older person willing to shoulder the financial responsibilities of a young adult, and you’re good to go. Whatever they want in return is just fine print and details. We’re sure you can work it out.
Become a social media political campaign officer
This is a new and vibrant job market. All you have to do is defend the most questionable crop of people we have in Nigeria — politicians. If you don’t mind all the moral baggage that comes with it, then you should have your $1000 by the end of the week.
Start selling akara
This might sound like a joke, but we’re not even kidding. Remember this tweet about how an akara seller makes ₦600k monthly? That’s a business plan waiting for you already. And if your business is five times hers, you can be pulling in your $1000 by the end of the week. See? As easy as saying beans.
Marry a rich person
Someone once said the fastest way to get rich is to be born rich, and the second fastest is to marry a rich person. We can’t help you with the first, but we have the cheat code for the second. Just tell them you’re their spirit husband or wife. It works like a charm, no pun intended. But if somehow, it doesn’t, tell them you’re from Zikoko. You’ll go straight to the altar.
Borrow and return after one week
Well, in all fairness, we said we’ll show you how to make $1000 in a week. We didn’t say anything about keeping the $1000. So just borrow the money from your rich friends and give it back to them once the week is over.
Wake up from your slumber
Because you must be dreaming. It’s not only $1000; it’s $1,000,000. You better wake up and start going to work. It’s a Monday morning.