Guide To Attending Lagos Christmas Parties

December 10, 2015

1. It’s that time of the year again.

Time for non-stop grooving.

2. And you’ve been invited to a christmas party by a cool kid.

You’ve finally found a ticket to join the Lagos cool kids.

3. So you hit the store to search for the perfect outfit but it costs the whole year’s salary.

Gats look fly though!

4. But you buy it anyway because you have to prove that you’re cool enough.

Then it hits you that you’re going to be soaking garri throughout next year.

5. Then you go and borrow your friend’s friend’s fly car.

And you realize that you have to start practicing the lyrics to Tony Tetuila’s song in case anybody wants to put you in gbese repete.

6. Then you remember that you have no shoes for the party.

Jesus take the wheel.

7. After weeks of preparing, it’s finally party day.

Time to partyyy.

8. Remember to make a grand entrance.

Looking fly of course.

9. Don’t forget your foreign accent. Preferably an exotic mix.

New accent, who dis?

10. You also need to have all the latest gadgets.

Make sure you hold your iPhone 6s like that throughout the party. So everyone can see.

11. Be sure to join a cool kid clique.

Team natural or fitfam would do.

12. Make sure you learn how to do all the hot dances.

Your shoki must be fire and you have to prove that you’re a descendant of wobe.

13. Ignore the food.

You think it’s an owambe ?

14. Whatever you do, do not famz.

When you spot that celebrity,  scream in your head and act like you see them every other weekend.

15. Maintain a bored expression.

It’s not like hanging with the cool kids is a bid deal anyway.

16. When in doubt, say nothing.

Just keep quiet and pretend like you’re above it all.

17. Don’t forget to have fun.

You’ll need the memories to keep you company while you soak garri.

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