Don’t even ask how I thought about this. But if your mother and her friends had to play truth or dare, this is how it would look. 

First things first, opening prayer

The game must be started in the presence of the maker, and there’ll only be religious music in the background. Nobody has time to sin, please. 

Alcohol? God forbid

They’d refuse to play the game with alcohol. Eva wine only, please. 

Imagine if they pick a card that dares them to do seven minutes in heaven

“My sister, heaven is a spiritual and eternal experience. One does not simply experience heaven on earth. That’s blasphemy.”

Or one that tells them to kiss the person on their left

LESBIANISM? Do you want to die and go to the fiery pits? 

Oya, no more dares

Because all the dares since morning have been dares to sin. Let’s not offend the Lord. He’s the only one that can command us. 

Truth: Describe your favourite sex position

They’d tell you there’s only one, and it’s the one where they hold on to their husband and as he’s coming into them, they’re praying for him, and they come together as one and then give glory to God. But also, it has to be a missionary. For obvious reasons. 

Also read: We Imagined a Nigerian Mother Trying Edibles for the First Time



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