I think we can agree that Lagos is stressful.
I have this theory that people who live in Lagos aren’t scared of the idea of going to hell because Lagos already has a lot in common with the underworld.
People who use the state’s public transport system have it a lot worse. They go through a lot of traumatic stuff just trying to move around.
Traumatic stuff like:
1) Having to sit on a bus with zero legroom.
It’s worse when you tell yourself that you’ll manage because it’s a short journey. Then you encounter traffic that adds an extra hour to your commute, forcing you to fold your legs like collapsible furniture longer than you planned.
2) The discomfort of having your knee up someone’s ass (or having someone’s knee up your ass) because there’s no legroom in the bus.
It’s worse when you both get off at the same stop and there’s no way for both of you to avoid the awkwardness.
3) The conductor’s armpit grazing your face while he stretches to collect money from other passengers.
I get it. Conductors are under the sun all day and can’t help but sweat. But SWEET JESUS! THE STENCH CAN RAISE THE DEAD! And having them rub armpit sweat across your face? Might as well slice that patch of skin off. This also goes for those passengers who smell.
4) Trying to make the best of your journey by eating Gala and yoghurt but a self-proclaimed medicine man starts talking loudly about how his sketchy-looking drug can cure staphylococcus (and the white discharge that comes with it).
Kill me now.
5) Having a preacher scream at you about how you’re going to burn in hell for all eternity if you don’t heed their warning and stop doing bad things.
It’s even worse when you’re on the bus because you’re on your way to sin.