• When Chimodu* (28) joined a music label in the 2010s, he thought it’d help him get his big break. It didn’t. He shares his experience navigating contract issues at the label, developing a cannabis addiction and having to go to rehab, and how he’s slowly piecing his life back together.


    For anonymity, names and other identifiers have been changed.


    This is Chimodu’s* story, as told to Akintomide

    I was trying to adjust to the reality of life after uni when my friend, Ogbe* convinced me to apply to a Nigerian music label’s academy. 

    I’ve been into music since I was a teenager, and he thought the academy would help me better my craft. It made sense, so I applied.

    The label’s head is a well-known Nigerian artist and, up to that point, had been one of my biggest influences as a producer. It was an opportunity to learn from my idol, and I knew I had to take it. I even told some of my guys I’d get in even before the academy picked me. I wanted it that much. 

    Getting selected was the validation I needed at the time. Up till then, everything I knew about music was self-taught. But being something of a nerd who wanted to understand things from every possible angle, I knew I needed more technical knowledge. The academy provided that; a chance to ask questions and hone my skills — a stepping stone.

    Little did I know that this “stepping stone” would turn out to be the feet-hurting pebbles that’d steer me into a path I least expected to take.

    I resumed at the music academy in 2013  for the month-long training. The first day was nerve-wracking, at least for me. I met the organisers and the other students, and we started talking about ideas and techniques immediately. I noted something odd, though. Anytime I asked a question about music production or other technical stuff, the label head would say, “Just choose better sounds”.

    Besides the odd attitude to questions, it was a comprehensive training. They taught us about the music business and branding. Top producers, songwriters and industry people came to talk to us. There was even an entertainment law class, where we were taught not to work with anyone without signing a split sheet that detailed how payment would  work.

    But a week into the programme, the organisers began to emphasise how we needed to “do anything it takes to succeed in the game”. They asked if we’d give them the intellectual property (IP) rights to the music we’d make while in the academy. The music in question was supposed to be an academy project which seemed to be a requirement for the training, so we all said yes. 

    I should mention that the whole training was filmed, so they had video evidence of each student agreeing to release all IP rights. It wasn’t a red flag at the time because, in my head, the academy would be my big break. Even if they owned my music, the exposure would do me a world of good.

    The project never happened, by the way.

    Fast forward to the end of the training. The organisers gave us all a one-year contract to become official signees of the music company. There was a clause, though: They’d also own everything we produced under the label. 

    I showed my dad the contract, who in turn showed it to his lawyer best friend. The lawyer asked me not to sign it. I was pained, but I had to tell the label lawyers I couldn’t sign based on those terms. They refused to negotiate and asked me to remove all brand benefits like academy logo, social media handles and hashtag in the bio from my social media accounts. I was even subtly threatened not to “misyarn about them” or I’d be sued for causing “emotional distress”. It felt like I was stripped of an honour and taken back to square one.

    I couldn’t release music immediately after the academy because I thought they’d accuse me of using the social media leverage that attending the academy had given me. I didn’t want anything to tarnish my reputation or end my career before it even started, so I stayed off social media.

    While this was going on, a former mate at the label started making waves. All the hit songs on the radio had his name, and I started overthinking about money and blowing up, too. I even briefly considered contacting other guys who also attended the training, but thought against it. The lawyers would probably have told them not to talk to me or each other.

    So, I kept to myself. Then one day, Ogbe* told me that the lawyers from the label were trying to reach me. They’d told Ogbe* what happened and claimed I didn’t honour an agreement. One even said she was looking for me because she was worried.

    I thought, “Oh, maybe things can be ironed out.” So, I called the lawyer and said I was hoping to negotiate the contract. She called me a dumb ass who had wasted an opportunity and that I needed to apologise to the lead organiser for wasting his time. 

    It was like a switch flipped on in my head. I knew I wouldn’t receive that treatment if I had a hit song, or if I’d “blown”. That was my “fuck it, I must make money” moment.


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    The only problem was, I didn’t know how to invest in myself to make the money. It took me four years after the label to put out music again, and when I resumed, I focused all my energy on it, believing I had a talent people would pay for. I didn’t have a job, or money to get equipment like a studio monitor, better microphone, software, things that would help me level up.

    I just expected at least one of my songs to blow up because I put out music with friends every three months and I produced songs regularly for others.

    I was a studio rat, but I didn’t have a direction for myself. It was only fun and pleasure. I spent all my NYSC allawee on babes and weed. Same thing after my Service and during the three years that I worked as an accountant at a private firm.

    It wasn’t until I lost three years in rehab (due to my cannabis addiction since my uni days), just wasting away, that I started to take my life seriously. When I came out, two of my guys had gotten married. A couple of others had changed their cars. Guys were making moves. That was when I said, “Omo, I’m done sitting on my ass.”

    I saved up and bought a MIDI controller. I had a guitar I’d never played. I’m now learning how to play. Then, I went to a software engineering boot camp. I’m working towards positioning myself for a steady income stream from my various passions, from music to game software development to drawing and making short films.

    Currently, I’m a games software developer, and I run music projects on the side. After the projects I’m working on come out, hopefully this year, free work stops. 

    Another thing driving me to hustle now is to look at luxury cars on IG. Benzos, Lexes, Bentleys.

    But all in all, I need to make these things work, even for another reason, like my parents. They’ve done their best. But also, I need to get out of their faces. My dad thinks I’m wasting time with music and my mum treats me like a child. I don’t want all that for my life.

    My music career hasn’t turned out the way I expected, but I’ve accepted that this is my journey. I’m glad I didn’t sign into that label. Every other person in my set signed, but most are still on the same level as me. But I’m not going to be here for long, it’s grinding season for me.

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  • As always, we already know

  • Call and ask to confirm your interview time

    Skip the part where you apply to a thousand jobs without getting a reply. Call the companies directly and tell them you want to confirm your interview time. Chances are, they’ll be too lazy to check if they actually sent you anything.

    Find their email address and send them an interview invite

    If you’ve already applied, be proactive and send them an interview invitation, so they know you mean business. Companies always say they want proactive people. Show yourself.

    Offer them fuel

    If they have an office, then they need to keep the lights on. Offer them free fuel as a perk for hiring you. You’ll leave them no choice but to hire you with joy.

    Offer to pay them a salary instead

    What better way to prove to them that you’re not doing it for the money than to offer them money?

    Become a POS attendant

    You’re going straight from being unemployed to being self-employed. Even better, you’re handling plenty cash every day. What more do you want?

    Become a Wizkid stan

    Being a part of Wizid FC is a full-time job, and the best part about it is that you don’t have to apply. Just start working. You might get stressed out every once in a while sha but the job is the job. Another option is to just become Davido’s online defender for the week. But you’ll be doing a lot of overtime sha.

    Shoot your shot at your future employer

    No, we’re not asking you to send them a DM on LinkedIn. Instead, find their IG handle and slide into their DMs with as much rizz as you can. Ask them on a date, then go with your CV. They’ll be impressed by your focus.


    NEXT READ: 7 Ways To Make Money Without Working For It


  • Don’t be an Arsenal fan

    You’re an Arsenal fan, and you want to argue about football? Are you not embarrassed? 

    Ignore the facts

    You’re here to win, not to raise a superior argument. Let your opponents focus on facts while you hatch your main plan. 

    Always take the opposing opinion

    What’s your main plan, you ask? Divide and conquer. No matter how obvious the correct stance is, always be on the opposite side. If they’re arguing whether Nigeria can beat Brazil, support Nigeria. If they’re arguing about who will win the next Champions League, shout “Chelsea” or “Arsenal”. Just say any wildly impossible thing to rile them up.

    Laugh at the other person’s argument

    Mock them for using logic. Yes, they deserve it.

    Yell… a lot

    It’s not a proper argument if you don’t talk at the top of your voice, even though you’re just a few inches away from kissing them.

    Have mouth odour

    No one with mouth odour has ever lost an argument. You can quote us anywhere.

    Go with a gun

    We’re not saying you should threaten them with violence, but strike the fear of God in their hearts.

    Show them a picture of Messi with the world cup

    If it’s another tired argument about who the GOAT is, show them a picture of Messi holding the world cup.

    Annoy them and shout “Siuuu!”

    When you’re done, rub the pain in by shouting “Siuu!” and doing the Ronaldo celebration. There you have it; mission accomplished.


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  • “Life is short, call your ex”

    You only live once, but you can always mess up many times.

    “There’s rice at home, but we both know you don’t want to eat rice. Go and buy food.”

    Follow your stomach and your pocket will follow suit

    .

    “Don’t be the patient dog. Hunger will finish you.”

    The patient dog doesn’t get the fattest bone. In fact, the patient dog gets nothing. We shouldn’t even need to spell this one out. 

    “Your next of kin won’t rate your struggle. Spend that money”

    Your next of kin will probably be at South flexing your money if anything happens to you.  Better spend your money now.

    “You better to save, it’s that same money that’ll save you”

    We said you should spend all your money, but you should save too sha. The economy might be too bad to save anything, but we believe in you.  Those savings might ultimately be your saviour. 

    “Life isn’t so hard. You’re the one who wants to blow”

    Ever wondered how stress-free your life would be if you weren’t trying to make it by force?

    “Don’t take nonsense from anybody, including your employer”

    You might lose your job, but that doesn’t matter because bad energy must stay far away.


    NEXT READ: 18 Motivational Quotes That Are Lowkey “Yahoo Boy” Quotes


  • “Never Give Up”

    What if the person is doing rubbish? Is it not better to just give up and sleep?

    “Everyone is special”

    This one is a big lie. If everyone is special, then what does “special” itself mean? Sometimes, we need to call the bluff of these aspire-to-maguire speakers.

    “Follow your passion”

    This one sounds cute until you realise that Dangote has no passion for cement. Also, it’s rich people advice. Our own theory is “follow your stomach, make hunger no kill you”.

    “You can be whatever you want to be”

    This isn’t bad advice per se, but we’re sure it’s the kind of problematic advice that made someone like Buhari keep trying until he became the president of Nigeria. We all know how that story ends.

    “What’s meant for you will not pass you by”

    Maybe if life was a movie. But in real life, if you don’t hold what’s meant for you tight, sorry for you.

    “The patient dog eats the fattest bone”

    LMAO. Why should you end up with a bone after so much patience? Is it not better for the patient dog to just go and buy food?

    “No girl will choose six packs over six cars. So stop gyming and work hard.”

    There are millions of people who don’t work out and are still poor. It’s better to have one, at least.

    “What an elder can see sitting down, small children cannot see from on top of a tree”

    If we call this witchcraft now, they’ll say we should keep quiet. What else can make an elder see better than a child?


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  • The “Evil Eye” is a cast or glance at someone that may inflict harm, suffering or some form of bad luck on their lives. You know how you don’t share an important milestone or major win because you fear it’s all going to get jinxed? Well, the jinxing bit might have something to do with this “evil eye”. You know what’s even weirder? The ”looker” doesn’t have to lift an arm to cause a chain of possibly catastrophic events. God, abeg.  

    People who choose to keep their private lives away from the internet might be on to something sha.

    Evil Eye on Social Media: Nigerians Share Their Experiences

    We had a chat with some Nigerians, and their Evil Eye experiences are chilling, to say the least.

    “My sister’s baby cries every time I post her picture on WhatsApp”Funmi*, 28

    I was always posting pictures of my niece when my twin sister put to bed, and I started to notice a funny pattern: Every time I posted my niece’s picture, she would cry throughout the night without sleeping. My sister would always call me crying and saying she doesn’t know why the baby is throwing a tantrum. I started feeling weird because it happened only on the days I posted her pictures on WhatsApp. I remember posting her picture again to confirm my suspicion after noticing the pattern. It happened again and that was when I decided to pray about it. At first, I kept it to myself, but I eventually told my sister.

    “My hair falls out whenever people compliment it” Fareeda*, 26

    I have long and full hair. Anytime people see it they keep “awwwnnning” over it. But I started to notice that I lose a lot of my hair whenever that happened, especially when I was in secondary school. Anything people admired about the hair would be affected. My hairline, the healthy scalp, the length, the fullness… Large chunks of my hair would literally fall out.

    “We had a nasty fight after I posted his picture on his birthday” Fikayo*, 29

    I once posted my boyfriend’s pictures to celebrate his birthday. Afterwards, we had a nasty fight that almost led to a breakup. Mind you, this is a relationship of about three years. I remember sharing the pictures, and people I’d not spoken to in years started texting me that day, some I didn’t even have their numbers anymore. Before then, I’d only posted his picture online once.

    “I started having dreams that put my babe in bad light” — Oyin*, 28

    I remember one Sunday afternoon when my boo stood up as a single in church because there was no category for “in a relationship.” I made a fuss about it on my WhatsApp status and someone sent A DM saying she knew my relationship wasn’t going to last because I was rubbing him in everyone’s face even when we weren’t married.

    I was livid, but before I knew it, I started having dreams that put my babe in a bad light, and all I could think about was wanting to break up. Naturally, I’ve found that keeping things to myself before they happen makes them happen.

    “Posted about my new job, and it was the beginning of the end” —  Latoye*, 31

    I’d been working at this cool place for months but kept it private because I wasn’t ready to share it with anyone. It wasn’t even because I thought about jinxing it or anything; I just wanted to put in the work before making an announcement.

    The day I eventually shared the news on Twitter and WhatsApp, there was this weird presence I felt around me. The congratulatory messages poured in and some people even reposted. I got to work the next morning, and let’s just say it was the beginning of an end. Was making silly mistakes that were actually detrimental to the business. Long story short, my contract was terminated. I have a new job now, and only my family members know.

    “The company terminated her appointment after sponsoring the family visa and paying for flight”  —  Dotun*, 28

    My sister-in-law got a job in the Netherlands in March 2022. The company sponsored visas for her, her husband and their child. They were expecting her arrival in July and had even paid for their flight. By the end of June 2022, the visas were ready. Out of excitement, my sis-in-law she posted her testimony on her WhatsApp status, and two days later, the company called to inform her they don’t need her services anymore. Her flight was cancelled on July 1, 2022. She’s just recovering from the effect it had on her mental health. Thank God her husband had not resigned from his job.

    *Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

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  • Help us talk to inflation

    Can you guys help us figure out why the price of a Toyota Corolla is now ₦4 million? If you can invite inflation for a podcast episode, we promise to dash you all the mics you want.

    Becoming a millionaire’s side chic

    So many people want to enter that line of business and need solid intel. Do it for the good of the community.

    Speak to a male ashewo

    What are the career prospects? How much do they earn? What is the work culture like? What are the barriers to entry? These are the important questions.

    How to make money doing nothing

    Nobody likes stress. It’ll be best if you help us figure out how to make money without doing anything, so we can live our best lives.

    Sexual health

    We all know people won’t stop committing sin. So, why not help us by talking about sexual health on your podcast, so we can make it to hell in good health?

    How to get lucky

    Some people don’t seem to have village people in this life. They stay winning, just cruising through life with ease and softness. Can’t you find them and tell them to share some secrets with the rest of the population?

    How to spend ₦400k

    Since podcasters love to settle every issue known to man, they should help us figure out the best way to spend ₦400k. It’s just a suggestion.


    NEXT READ: Podcasts Might Be the New Pandemic, But These Are Our Faves


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