Nigerians in the diaspora can be annoying sometimes. It’s like they all got the same memo: Japa and begin to find ways to annoy all the Nigerians you left behind. I need japa connoisseurs to please stop doing these 10 things.  

Recording videos in the snow 

One thing japa warriors have in common is recording all their videos outside in the snow. Does the snow emphasise that they’re abroad, or does it show the hardship they’re really going through? Either way, they need to stop. 

Telling us how cold it is 

At least 100 new Ontarians have told us how cold it is. We’ve heard. But it won’t stop us from coming. 

Reminding us that it’s not easy 

Every five seconds, they must remind us that living abroad isn’t easy, like they’re not enjoying the perks of a functional society and economy. Come back to Nigeria then, if abroad is so tough. Nowhere is completely easy, except you’re rich.

Telling us to stay back 

I hate when they make statements like, “Don’t come to the UK. The people here aren’t friendly”,  or “Don’t come to Japan. The sun doesn’t shine”. Other nationalities are finding ways to bring in more of their people, but Nigerians are telling theirs not to come. 

Telling us how lonely it is 

They don’t even mean they miss their families or struggle to make genuine friends. All they care about is how hard it is to find a sex partner. Then they tell us to find partners we can bring abroad with us. 

Telling us to japa 

They japa and immediately forget the struggles they faced when they were leaving the country. Now, every time something bad happens in Nigeria, we get variations of “Better japa fast if you like yourself”, “Japa o. Nigeria is horrible”.  Will you give me the money?

Acting like they don’t know how bad Nigeria is 

All of a sudden, they’ve forgotten that NEPA takes light and the background sound they hear over the phone is generator noise. I once complained about working late at a former bank job, to a friend abroad, and he asked me to quit since they aren’t paying overtime. You say, what? 

Telling us how much stuff in their new country costs in naira

“Can’t believe I just paid ₦13k to barb my hair.” No, sir. You paid $30. They’re not earning in naira, so I don’t get why they’re always crying about the naira equivalent of things. Are they looking for pity?

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