1. When you enter the office and see that overeager colleague approaching you.

Just don’t abeg.

2. When that colleague that lives around your side always gets to work before you.

Oshey, employee of the month.

3. When you’re getting along with your colleagues and they spoil it by inviting you out after work.

Take it easy.

4. That colleague that keeps trying to talk to you when you have your earbuds in.

Are you well?

5. You, avoiding your colleagues in public at all costs:

This 9 – 5 is enough, abeg.

6. That colleague that always tells you personal stories that leave you looking for their point like:

Well, that was a waste of my time.

7. Whenever one of them manages to find you on social media.

Is there no escaping you people?

8. Nigerian colleagues and “you’re adding weight oh!”

Thank you, weight scale.

9. You, at every single work event.

Kill me now.

10. Colleague: “I can’t come to work, I’m not feeling fine.”

We know the truth.

11. When you’re single and your colleague is constantly trying to set you up.

Is it your ‘single’?

12. When you’re sneaking out during your lunch-break so nobody asks you to help them get food.

Not today, biko.

13. When you say “come and join me” while you are eating and they actually come.

See what home training has caused?

14. When your colleague with terrible taste keeps playing their music with loudpeakers.

Later you will say you have sense.

15. You, pretending to be busy so you don’t have to walk out with anyone.

I don’t have your energy.

16. You, when they start arguing about football or politics.

Let me just face my front.

17. How your colleagues look at you when you leave the office at 5 on the dot:

Na una sabi.

18. When they ask you to “wait small” so you can give them a ride home.

See this one.


Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.