1. All your friends in Lagos had been telling you how lit Lagos is and the awesome places to seize the bae. So you carried your Ghana-must-go and travelled down.

Turn up!

2. Finding out there was traffic all the way from the airport to your house.

What is this?

3. When you passed through Ojota for the first time and the smell from the refuse dump hits your face hard.

Jesu Kristi!

4. When you realise Lagos is actually overpopulated and hot.

Why are you people so many?

5. When you remember how much light you had back home compared to Lagos.

I’m not coming back again.

6. When you try to rent a self-contained flat and they ask you to bring your kidney as rent payment.

Kuku harvest all my organs.

7. When you’re used to the chill life but everybody has no chill in Lagos.

Can’t you people just calm down for a second?

8. When you realise you either have to jump danfo or pay through your nose for cab fares.

Can I just go back home?

9. When you managed to take danfo and they were just the dirtiest buses in this life.


10. When you were sitting jejely in the danfo and people still came to rob you.

I want my mummy!

11. When you go the market and everybody starts grabbing you.

Are you alright?

12. Finding out most of the events people told you about were either expensive or really boring.

You lied to me!

13. When you finally get a chance to buy a car and LASTMA catches you for one tiny crime.

Ordinary driving in the BRT lane? Someone can’t play with you again.

14. Finding out people in Lagos drive like Mad Max.

Lagos drivers have no home training.

15. Before, you were just a peaceful somebody but now you’re always ready to fight with anybody that steps on you.

Hay God!

16. When you don’t even know how to talk quietly on the phone anymore.. because Lagos noise.

I’m sorry I can’t hear you over this person shouting beside me.

17. When you have to plan your day three days before because of Lagos traffic.

Lagos na wa!


Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.