1. You’ve been counting down to Ramadan all year and you can finally smell it in the air.
Time to turn a new leaf.
2. So you go on serious binge eating of all your cravings.
That shawarma and White House amala won’t eat themselves.
3. And get your Ramadan stash.
Man must prepare for the days ahead.
4. When the moon sighting wahala starts and you’re not even sure when to begin fasting.
Can we not do this?
5. So you jejely wait for the moon sighting announcement in Nigeria.
Sultan of Sokoto, wyd?
6. And you start blocking all those accounts that make you sin.
Mufti mode activated.
7. Including anybody that tweets about anything that looks like food.
Have you seen their food posts? God!
8. Realising you can’t have coffee or your usual morning snacks.
My chest, or rather, my stomach.
9. But you can’t afford to miss Sahur so you set all the alarms in life.
My body is ready.
10. You eat everything you see including anyone that thinks you’re eating too much.
Food must not waste.
11. When someone insults your daddy but you can’t slander them.
The Lord is testing me.
12. When you realise you can’t blame your sins on shaytan this month.
13. When someone says something funny but you can’t be wasting energy for ordinary laughter..
I’ll laugh when I see food at Iftar.
14. When that annoying non-Muslim colleague asks why you can’t drink water.
Just look at this one.
15. When your body is only half ready for Taraweeh.
Those long Surahs.
16. How you wait for Iftar after fasting all day.
The struggle is real.
17. Because you’re ready to eat like never before.
My phone looks like meat-pie right now.
18. When you know you’ll have peace of mind for the next 30 days.
Bye bye, Shaytan!
19. How the entire Muslim Ummah looks when Ramadan starts.
All happy and Masha Allah.