13 People Your Nigerian Parents Will Compare You To

April 12, 2016

1. Themselves when they were your age.

I’ve heard. You always came first.

2. Your classmate that “doesn’t have two heads.”

Na wa.

3. Your friend that always kneels down to greet them when she comes to visit.

On top small greeting?

4. Your sister that graduated with a first class.

What’s my own?

5. Maryam that got a full scholarship to go and study abroad.

Hay God!

6. Your neighbour’s daughter who is now a doctor.

Can I hear word?

7. Mrs. Owolabi’s son who has a Masters degree and is working in oil.

Kidnap him na.

8. Your first cousin that is about to finish his PhD.

Ehen?

9. The Imam’s daughter that always wears her hijab.

What is it sef?

10. Pastor Bankole’s son who is a worker in Church.

Chineke!

11. Your cousin Dami who has already married.

Na she sabi.

12. Your family friend that has already given her parents a grandchild.

Am I her?

13. Emeka that just bought his mother a tear rubber car.

Go and adopt him na.

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