You can’t lie that you’ve met the most hilarious people on a danfo, and you’ve probably met the most annoying bougie Nigerians on business class flights. We all experience Nigerian transportation differently, but these are what your most used mode of transport says about you.
You know all the bus stops in your city and nobody can carry you go where you no know. You may look very calm but you’re one annoying conductor away from unleashing your madness on everybody.
You’re adventurous and like to live on the edge. You genuinely believe you have nine lives and nothing can happen to you. We’re secretly scared of you because you probably moonlight as a vigilante.
Your biggest problem is how your ₦2k ride fare always becomes ₦7k because you live at Ikorodu or Meiran and don’t like taking danfo like the rest of us trenches people. You’ll never learn though. You know it, and we know it too; continue to wail about your bank account when you know it’s transport fare eating all your money.
Your personal car
Whatever is happening on the streets of Lagos is none of your business. You’re always doing “I better pass my neighbour” in traffic, even though you’re still going to queue for fuel at the next fuelling station.
You’re too rich to deal with Nigerian roads, and whatever is happening with Nigerian airline fares is definitely none of your business because you’ll still fly no matter what. You’ll rather eat cold semo than struggle with us on bad interstate roads.
Your eyes have seen things your mouth cannot say. We sympathise with you.
You have commitment issues and that’s why you keep jumping from point to point without any direction. You like to play things safe (which is why you don’t use okada) but you’re still unstable inside and anybody that pushes too much you will see craze.
You live a double life and it’s hard to tell if you’re really broke or if you’re just trying to confuse your enemies. Whichever one it is, it’s working.