Since your pet is your child, you need to help them stay in touch with their Nigerian roots. From food to clothes, here’s how to remind your pets that they are foundational Nigerians.
1) Give them a traditional name
Gone are the days were you name your pets Jack, Bingo, Ebenezer, Maximum protection, and other such names. Now is the time for them to embrace their true roots. A cat that is named Chukwudi or Osas will never forget where it’s from.
2) Talk to them in your native language
Your pets should be able to speak at least one native language before you introduce them to English. By the time you want to introduce English to your goat, it should be bleating in Hausa or Esan.
3) Feed them native foods
What is good for the parent is good for the child. How can you be clearing pounded yam and egusi while your pets eat food from a can? If they served you canned food all the time, will you like it? Better prepare some nice oha soup for your pets, let them know the taste of authentic Nigerian cuisine.
4) Give them a traditional naming ceremony
Naming a child in Nigeria is a very big deal, so you have to name your pet properly. Gather all the materials needed for the ceremony and get someone to bless your pet. Maybe if you do this, your pets won’t be behaving like they have evil spirits living inside of them.
5) Remind them that they have just one head
Whenever your pets misbehave, remind them that the other pets that aren’t causing their parents stress have just one head. You didn’t kill your parents, your pet won’t kill you.
6) Send them on errands
The best way to show your pets Nigerian culture is to be a very Nigerian parent. Sometimes ask your dog to bring you the remote control or tell your ram to bring you cold water. It’s the little things.
7) Buy them land
Once they have property in Nigeria, they are truly children of the soil. Whoever wants to contest their Nigerianness with you should speak to your lawyers.
8) Get them Nigerian passports
With the way the Nigerian humans are rejecting the passports, surely there’s enough for the pets of the country? With a Nigerian passport, they’re recognised both home and abroad.