“How Do I Tell My Parents I’ve Fallen Pregnant Out of Wedlock?”

March 11, 2022

Creative Ways to Announce Your Pregnancy to Parents Who Aren’t Yet Expecting Grandkids From You

Now you’ve fallen pregnant. Your parents aren’t yet ready to have grandkids from you, but the universe seems doesn’t care.

So how do you break the news that a heritage from the Lord has taken up space in your womb? We gotcha.

1. Play God’s Plan by Drake before telling them the news

Sing the song over and over before telling them that God’s Plan for you is to have a baby in the next nine months. Find the inner musician in you and add the announcement to the lyrics of the song. Continue singing until your parents figure it out. 

2. Tell them someone left a baby in your womb

You’re actually not lying or being dramatic. Someone actually came over and left a baby in your womb and you weren’t given a return address. 

3. Put the pregnancy test strip in their food

This way, they’re going to consume the information with their food,  saving you the stress of having to use your words. Let your parents digest the information. 

4. Tell them the Virgin Mary hired you as her intern

Mary was in Heaven wondering what a Jesus version 2.0 would look like and decided to come down to earth to use you to do user research. It’s not like you went out of your way to get pregnant o; Mary is simply using you. 

RELATED: 7 Things That Go Through Your Mind When You Have a Pregnancy Scare

5. Tell them you swallowed a seed and it’s germinating inside your body

It’s not like it’s a lie anyway. You were eating something; you didn’t know it was a fruit that has seeds and you accidentally swallowed the seed, now the seed is growing into a baby. When you swallowed that seed, you thought it’d come out in your poop, but unfortunately, it turned out to be a baby seed. 

6. Start calling your parents “Grandpa” and ”Grandma”

When they ask you why you’re calling them those titles, you’ll tell you you’re practising for a future that’s closer than they think. If they ask you how close, you tell them less than 1yr and 9months when their grandkids can speak. 

7. If they’re Christians, randomly send them Psalm 127:3

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.” They should close their eyes and thank God for their wonderful gift. 

8. Please, leave the country

Buy a ticket or get a night bus going to Benin Republic, Cotonou or Ghana.If you’re rich enough, buy a ticket to Australia. Go as far away as possible. When you arrive in your new country, tell them you moved to create a better life for your child — the one in your tummy. 

9. Start by asking them to join you as you sing Miracle Worker

Dig into your choir mistress bag and sing all the songs you know about miracles. By the time you and your parents are done singing, they’ll know God has done a miracle that you want to keep. 

10. Tell them you fulfilled one of their heart desires

Which parent doesn’t want to be a grandparent? That your clocks may be working in opposite directions doesn’t mean their heart desire hasn’t still been fulfilled. They should even be thanking you for your service and love. Look at you being a very thoughtful child. 

ALSO READ: 8 Nigerian Women On Their Funniest Pregnancy Moments

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