7 Ways To Identify (And Deal With) Clowns

June 21, 2020

Gone are those days when clowns had a special costume or appearance and people were able to identify them easily. These days, clowns are dressed in everyday wear. They no longer perform at a circus too. A lot of them have found a more profitable(?) job on social media and in other people’s personal space. Here’s how to identify (and properly deal with) them.

1. “I am a feminist oh, but⁠—”

Once you hear this, there is no point engaging with them. Just pack your load and go. Research has proven that anything coming after their “but” is a waste of time and it will lead to conversations that will exhaust you. Flee, biko.

2. “Indecent dressing causes rape.”

The people in this category are on their way to graduate from being clowns into full-blown nonentities. Try your best to educate them, but if it looks like it doesn’t work, put them in their place ASAP.

3. “Don’t bring that gay shit near me.”

Another variant of this is, “I cover my yansh with the blood of Jesus.” See ehn, these ones don enter express. Just cover your own self with the blood of Jesus and leave their presence before they contaminate what is left of you.

4. “Women are dominating everything, they don’t want to leave any space for men.”

If you can educate this person, again, try. Because before cancellation comes education. But if they choose to remain clowns, just refer to the image above.

5. “How come nobody is talking about the boy child? You people are partial! Gender equality is just meant to favour women alone!”

The solution to this is simple: pat their heads gently, tell them sorry and ask them who collected their sweet.

6. “Humanist, not feminist. I’m a humanist.”

Turn to them and smile. Then say: “I get it. What I just don’t understand is who asked you?”

7. “Women are their own enemy.”

Don’t even bother to answer.

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Kunle Ologunro

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