7 Ways To Identify (And Deal With) Clowns

June 21, 2020

Gone are those days when clowns had a special costume or appearance and people were able to identify them easily. These days, clowns are dressed in everyday wear. They no longer perform at a circus too. A lot of them have found a more profitable(?) job on social media and in other people’s personal space. Here’s how to identify (and properly deal with) them.

1. “I am a feminist oh, but⁠—”

Once you hear this, there is no point engaging with them. Just pack your load and go. Research has proven that anything coming after their “but” is a waste of time and it will lead to conversations that will exhaust you. Flee, biko.

2. “Indecent dressing causes rape.”

The people in this category are on their way to graduate from being clowns into full-blown nonentities. Try your best to educate them, but if it looks like it doesn’t work, put them in their place ASAP.

3. “Don’t bring that gay shit near me.”

Another variant of this is, “I cover my yansh with the blood of Jesus.” See ehn, these ones don enter express. Just cover your own self with the blood of Jesus and leave their presence before they contaminate what is left of you.

4. “Women are dominating everything, they don’t want to leave any space for men.”

If you can educate this person, again, try. Because before cancellation comes education. But if they choose to remain clowns, just refer to the image above.

5. “How come nobody is talking about the boy child? You people are partial! Gender equality is just meant to favour women alone!”

The solution to this is simple: pat their heads gently, tell them sorry and ask them who collected their sweet.

6. “Humanist, not feminist. I’m a humanist.”

Turn to them and smile. Then say: “I get it. What I just don’t understand is who asked you?”

7. “Women are their own enemy.”

Don’t even bother to answer.

You'll like this

Kunle Ologunro

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.


Now on Zikoko

July 5, 2020

We know you’re chill and try as much as possible to let a lot of things go. However, we also know that there are things you find particularly annoying. So, we created this quiz to let you know what your biggest pet peeve is.

Recommended Quizzes

October 14, 2019

Pete Edochie, Patience Ozokwor, Chinwetalu Agu, and Segun Arinze are some of the best villains Nollywood have gifted us. These actors mastered the art of playing the bad guys that it would be hella weird if they played anything else. Now, you might just be the one fit to fill their shoes and continue where […]

November 15, 2019

There are two types of people in Nigeria right now: those who are proud Marlians, and those who are still in denial about stanning the divisive star. So, for those who proudly wear the Marlian tag, we made a quiz to test how well you really know Naira Marley. If you get more than 6 […]

November 12, 2019

Are you a single pringle, stuck in a complicated situationship or happily married to the love of your life? This quiz is here to guess your current relationship status, and as you know, Zikoko quizzes are incredibly accurate (don’t quote us). So, give a shot:

October 30, 2019

2010 was a game-changing one for Nollywood, with our movies making serious cash and getting international acclaim. So, which of these hits released between 2010 and 2019 — from the pace-setting The Wedding Party to the divisive Trip To Jamaica — best suits your personality? Well, that’s what this quiz is here to answer:

November 27, 2019

Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out:

More from Inside Life


Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.
January 27, 2020
Nigerians Talk is what happened when a motley crew of young Nigerians were put in front of a camera and asked a bunch of apparently random questions about life, love, money and more.
September 24, 2019
A group of Zikoko staff go on a road trip to every mainland country in ECOWAS West Africa

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.