Twitter developers are trying, and we really value their hard work. But wouldn’t Twitter be wayyy more cooler with these features?
1. A filter for reasonable trends.
That way, when a hashtag like “OurLeftBumBum” is trending, you won’t even catch a whiff of it.
2. An assistant whose work is to help you know which tweet to bother about.
That way, you will have something like: “So-so has just tweeted, but don’t bother yourself. The tweet no too get value.”
3. A reminder that will keep you in check.
That way, when you spend too long on Twitter, you get a notification like, “You don dey this app since morning. You nor get job wey you suppose do?”
4. A conscience checker.
This one is necessary for those people who tweet okoto. Just before they hit send, the checker will simply tell them: “You sef look wetin you tweet. E make sense for your eye?”
5. A more caustic DM filter.
That way, when someone sends you a triggering DM, the filter will tell them, “Oga, carry that ghetto behaviour comot for here.”
6. And finally, a feature that will hide every tweet that is unrelated to a very important Twitter thread.
That way, influencers won’t tell us to forget Buhari and focus on their iPhone selfies.