5 Types Of People You’ll Find In A Face-Me-I-Slap-You House

March 19, 2020

Being a Nigerian means that at one time in your life, you might find yourself living in a face-me-I-slap-you apartment. Perhaps when you go for your NYSC, or school in a place where your family knows nobody. In this kind of house, you will meet a lot of people. This is a list of some of those people.

What a face-me-I-slap-you house looks like, in case you’re wondering.

1. The bachelor.

Image result for nigerian bachelors

They usually have the best furnished room in the whole apartment. And they receive a lot of guests too. Usually, they are employed by a company in the area or somewhere close. Most of the times, they have a generator; when there is no light, their room is the first place people go to charge their phones.

2. The single lady chopping life.

Image result for single ladies nigeria

Can easily be single ladies too. They are fun-loving, easy to relate with. They always have something for the kids when they return. Can be biscuits, candy, a small toy. Everyone loves them, and sometimes the whole house wishes they would get married to the bachelor. But Sis often has her eyes on a better offer.

3. The couple with their children.

Image result for ronke oshodi as okunnu's wife and children

There is always one in every house. The children attend a school nearby, the wife and the husband work out of town. On days when the children quarrel, the neighbours have to mediate. It is the natural order of life.

4. The trader who owns a kiosk in front of the house.

She sells everything: groundnuts to drink garri when the children return from school, sachets of cold water, milk, bread, garri. The neighbourhood one-stop shop.

5. The woman who keeps everyone in check.

Image result for ronke oshodi oke in film

Can also be a man. This is the person who takes charge of NEPA bill payment, toilet washing roster, passage sweeping, etc. She can be noisy at times, but it’s all for the good of the house. You can try, but you can never really hate her. She’s nice, except for when it comes to administering duties.

Have you read this? 13 Lies You’ll Hear When You’re House Hunting In Nigeria

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