We understand how badly the government wants Nigerians to stay at home. And we feel their pain too, because we know that a lot of people in this Nigeria are very stubborn. We feel for the government, and that is why we came up with this list that will help the government keep a lot of people at home.
1. Starting from tomorrow, the government should send barbers to every house in Nigeria. These barbers should shave off people’s eyebrows.
It’s because they have eyebrows, that’s why they are going out. We believe the government can achieve this. If they can disburse over 100 million naira to poor Nigerians, what is barber that they cannot send.
2. Also, senators and commissioners should lurk around people’s houses. When they see anyone enter the bathroom, they should steal their clothes and run away.
Shebi it’s clothes that they will wear out? And who says senators and commissioners are too big for this job? The AC they have collected is enough. They should come and work for the money.
3. Any offender caught outside should be sent to Aso Rock to pick beans for Aisha Buhari or fan Daddy Bubu.
It’s what their eyes found that their legs took them to. Next time, they will stay at home.
4. We think the government should make it compulsory for every Nigerian to do a #Don’tRushChallenge. They kuku cannot be changing clothes and throwing make-up brush on the main road.
Plus, Daddy Bubu will be entertained by the beauty of his country fifu.
5. The government can also start a reality TV show about Buhari’s peace-keeping travels. “Keeping Up With Daddy” that will air on NTA.
We like film in Nigeria, shebi you know. We will sit at home and watch.
But if the government thinks we are not being realistic, then maybe they should give Nigerians better electricity, make provision for food to get to poor people, and ensure that the COVID-19 funds are disbursed properly. Don’t @ us please. We are staying in our house.
