There are too many people on these streets claiming to be what they are not. At least five people out of six claim to be a bad bitch, even when they do not have the range or ability for it.

Anyway, we have decided to put you all in your place. If these signs manifest in your life, then it means you are not the bad bitch you actually think you are.

1. You catch feelings quick.

Someone will text you everyday for two weeks and you have already caught feelings. Do you really think that’s an attribute of a bad bitch?

2. You still live under your parents’ roof.

bukky-wright-and-jide-kosoko | Zikoko!

Your parents are housing you and you want to come out and claim bad bitch. Which money will you use to paint town red? Your pocket money?

3. You slimfit your jeans because you can’t find your size.

Please just rest. Don’t drag anything, just quietly renounce the title of bad bitch and live a honest life.

4. You cry when you watch movies.

Even songs, you are crying. You think being bad bitch is about being Nkiru Sylvanus’ intern? Abeg comot for here.

5. You are studying biochemistry, engineering, sociology, or geology.

Even if they are distributing bad bitch forms for free, it will never reach you. Just focus on your studies, eh?

6. You are the second born.

You got leftover baby clothes from the first born. Sorry to break it to you, but you don’t qualify.

7. You moan during sex.

Something you are supposed to chest and keep quiet. Ask the real bad bitches, they don’t even do pim.

8. You attend Covenant University.

Hmmm. It is well. Please dissociate yourself from being a bad bitch before your school authorities decide to abolish bad bitches worldwide.

9. You have a babyface.

fave-girl-pissed | Zikoko!

Nature has already denied you access to the bad bitch circle. Please rest.

10. Your name is Desire, Damilola, TiaraOluwa, Chioma, Amaka, Favour.

Ah, please go and do change of name before you even think of calling yourself a bad bitch, abeg.

11. Your name is Blessing.

Sorry dear, even if you change your name, you still cannot be a bad bitch. Having Blessing as your name has forever robbed you of that chance.

12. You cannot swim or ride a bicycle.

Instead of you to be learning how to do these things, you are trying to be a bad bitch. Do you even have your priorities aligned?

13. Your parents did not throw a first year birthday party for you.

Smart parents. They already know you don’t have the potential for it.

14. You have less than five wigs.

More importantly, what will your life as a bad bitch look like?

15. You cannot draw your own eyebrows.

At this point, just give up. If they call bad bitches and you answer eh, we will personally find you and cane you.

16. You eat semo.

Please get out of here, cultist.



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